Cannonball
by Hysteria87
Summary: When tragedy strikes and Holly J is left alone, will Eli be the only one who can reach her? And will he be able to let her go?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi and I'm not making money off of this. Please don't sue me, my student loans have all my money anyway.

* * *

><p>"<em>That's a 'when', not an 'if', right?"<em>

She kept replaying it in her head, those last few words spoken. They had their plan. They were supposed to be together. He was her prince; she was supposed to live her fairytale. It was supposed to be forever.

"When do you need to be there?" Mrs. Sinclair asked gently from the pantry. Holly J blinked a few times and looked down at the notice in yesterday's paper, even though she didn't need to. She had memorized every word.

"Visitation goes from 1 to 5 today. Adam said to be there by 12:45 and then I'm invited to go out to eat with all of them after, if I want," she answered in hallowed tones. The very thought of eating made her stomach do back flips. She didn't sleep at all the night before, the vision of him leaning against that wall, telling her goodbye being burned into her eyelids.

"I can drop you off and let me know when you want to be picked up," her mom offered. Holly J nodded, even though her mom couldn't see. She was just trying to be supportive.

"Yeah, I'll let you know."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Clare, you know that this is not going to be easy for me…"

"I know, and I appreciate you coming with me. He was my friend and now that Adam's with Fiona, we need to be there to support him," Clare said as she straightened Eli's tie for him.

"Such a lovely way to spend our last day together…" Eli mumbled bitterly. Clare shot him a look.

"It's not like anyone expected this to happen. I certainly didn't plan on spending my last day here for the summer at a funeral, but it is what it is. Now, please, lets just make the best of it." She countered. Eli rolled his eyes and sat on her bed as she finished getting ready. He didn't even know the guy, just a passing look at the theater awards. But, Clare had some sort of attachment to him and Adam was now dating his sister, so it was time to be there for everyone. Eli didn't know what their past was and didn't want to know. When Clare got the news, it messed her up a bit. For days, she didn't want Eli to come over and now that he was there, she would stop and stare, whispering "Propmaster Clare" to herself every once in awhile, like she was presently doing in the mirror.

"Clare?" Eli broke. She visibly shook herself out of her thoughts and smiled weakly at him in the mirror, "We need to get going if we don't want to be late." Her smile dropped and she went back to perfecting her mascara.

Eli didn't mean to come off as an ass, but right now he couldn't help it. Despite driving a hearse, funerals weren't exactly his favorite thing in the world. He hadn't been to one since Julia's and even though he had come to terms with her and was very happy with Clare, the thought of stepping foot inside of a funeral home again made his stomach lurch. Coupled with the fact that Clare was leaving to volunteer at Christian Summer Camp the next morning and Eli was pushed to the limit.

"Okay, let's go," Clare said as she turned to face him. Eli nodded and stood up, walking over to her. She didn't reach for his hand as she led them out of her room.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

There she was, right at the end of the line, next to Fiona. This was the worst place in the world right now. She shook the hands and said the thank you's with as much meaning as she could muster, but none of it could sink in. This didn't feel right. She wasn't his girlfriend. She wasn't family. But, none of that mattered right now. In his family's eyes, she was. Fiona practically had a death grip on Holly J as soon as she arrived. Adam was preoccupied with a couple of his friends at the moment, apparently having some sort of fight. Real classy, fighting at someone else's wake.

Holly J hated this, standing in front of the casket. This would be the last time she would stand next to him and he wasn't even standing. She couldn't bring herself to look at the body, not that there was any sort of outward sign of what had happened. No, it was more of the thought that if she looked at the body, she would have to admit that he was really gone. Her prince was gone.

"I'm really sorry for your loss…" Clare's voice interrupted. Holly J looked up into her eyes, doing her best to rearrange her face into one of controlled sadness, "Declan was special to me. He was a good guy. I'm going to miss him." Holly J nodded and softly thanked the girl. She and Clare didn't have the best track record, but Clare was never a mean spirited person. When she said she was sorry, she meant it.

"Hey, why don't you take a break? Go get something to drink?" Adam said lightly as he moved between Holly J and Fiona. Fi's hand immediately went for his, trying her hardest to hold back tears. Holly J took a breath.

"You sure?" Adam looked sadly over to her.

"Yeah, I got this." Holly J only nodded and stepped out of the line. She slowly moved through the crowd that gathered in the room, all well-wishers who had come to pay their respects. She couldn't look at them, instead keeping her eyes firmly to the carpet.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The lobby looked exactly the same as it did two years earlier and it weirded him out just a little bit. They had made an appearance, Adam had things under control, in his mind, it was time to leave. Clare, unfortunately, didn't feel the same. When he tried to tell her, to explain to her that he wasn't okay being there, she fought him on it, telling him to grow up and think about someone else for a few hours. That was why he was currently hiding away in one of the private parlors, a floor above the main viewing room. He didn't have the heart to just leave Clare, but he needed to get away somehow. It was peaceful up here, a modestly sized room with a large window that overlooked the garden, a high-back chair and small reading table being the only furniture. It was almost like this room was intended for a single person to be alone with their thoughts.

He heard the door click behind him as someone came in, probably Clare wanting to talk.

"Clare, it's fine. If you want to stay…" he started as he turned around to the intruder. Holly J looked up from the carpet, her mascara smudged slightly from her tears. She looked terrified.

"Oh, sorry," she said, "I didn't know anyone else was in here," and she turned to leave.

"No, wait. Stay. It's fine," Eli said as he stood from the chair, "Here, have a seat." Eli didn't really know much about Holly J, just that she was Vice-president this past year. Still, she must have been close to the deceased to look this miserable. She slowly nodded and crossed the room, sitting on the edge of the seat, wiping under her eyes with her finger. Eli pulled a tissue from his pocket and offered it to her, she taking it with a weak smile. She stared at her hands in her lap and Eli wasn't sure what he should do. She looked like she needed a break from all of this more than he did. It was probably best if he left her to her own thoughts.

"I don't know what I'm doing up there…" she said quietly, to no one in particular. He turned back to her and opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. It was probably for the best though. She probably just needed to vent. She looked up at him, "I'm not his girlfriend anymore. I know we had the plan, to go to Yale and see how things were in August, but… we broke up. I wasn't his girlfriend anymore." So, she was the major ex-girlfriend in his life, the one that the family loved and he never got over. Eli sat on the floor and leaned against the wall, getting the feeling that he was going to be there for a bit. Oddly, he didn't mind. Helping someone else with their problems helped get his mind off his own.

"Aren't you good friends with Fiona? She probably appreciates you being there for her," he tried.

"Adam's been doing most of the heavy lifting…"

"Adam's good for that," he tried joking, but all she did was swallow. No, now was not the time. Had someone have tried to do that at Julia's wake, he would have punched them out, "Sorry."

"Don't get me wrong, I loved Declan. I wanted the fairy-tale happy ending with him. But…" and she faded off. Eli could see the guilt on her face. She knew how she was supposed to act, but it didn't work with how she felt.

"But… not yet." He finished. She met his gaze and nodded softly. He looked down at his hands, playing a little with the ring on his thumb. He wasn't sure if he wanted to open up this line of communication. It could be a huge mistake; she could freak out and tell everyone. It took him months to finally tell Clare, and that was only because he liked her and wanted something with her. But, when he looked up and saw her hunched over, a hand on her forehead, a few of her scarlet waves coming loose from her bun and framing her face, so raw and vulnerable, he knew that she had to know.

"Holly J," he said softly and she lifted her head up, looking towards him, "My girlfriend died unexpectedly two years ago, so I know what your going through… and I know that we've never really talked before now but, um, if you need someone to talk to, you can call me." She swallowed hard and looked him up and down, taking a breath and smiling a little.

"Yeah, I'd like that."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Thanks for reading! Reviews are cookies and love and faster updates! I really hope it wasn't too confusing with the switching points of view, so if it was, please let me know. Thanks again!<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own anything and am poor. Don't sue me.

* * *

><p>Eli lay on his bed, the only light pouring in through his window. He didn't know what time it was, only that Clare was gone by now. She didn't stay over like they had planned. He rolled last night's conversation around in his head over and over. They had gone to The Dot after he finally got her out of the funeral home and she suggested something. She suggested that they "take a break" for the summer. With the added distance, she said, it was just going to be easier to be friends and not have to worry about having phone service or getting to a computer all the time. This way, she could focus on her job at the camp and Eli could focus on…whatever his plans were for the summer. Eli pointed out that working three days a week at Bullfrog's radio station wasn't exactly the most challenging of activities, but she insisted that this would be for the best, not even giving him a kiss when he dropped her off at her house for the night. If this wasn't a break up, why did it feel like it?<p>

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Take care of yourself, Holly J," Fiona said as she embraced her best friend.

"I will, Fi. Tell New York I say hi and have fun with Adam," she responded, smiling a little. Fi let her go and smiled back, taking Adam's hand with her own. She climbed the steps up to the private jet, stopping at the top and waving slightly. Holly J smiled weakly and waved back, sighing as the doors closed.

She slowly walked back through the airport, almost as if she was in a dream. She couldn't hear anything and didn't really see anyone's face. It was like she wasn't controlling her own body, like someone was doing the actions for her. Someone else waved down the taxi and someone else was pushing her inside of it. And within a blink of an eye, as she said her address aloud, the reality of the situation crashed down on her. Holly J was alone, for the first time in forever. All the Coynes had gone. Fi had gone. Adam was gone. Clare was gone. For the first time in forever, Eli was alone. The weight of it all pressed onto his chest as he rolled over in his bed. It didn't seem real, none of it did. He felt like he was watching a movie and all of this was happening to someone else. All he did was observe and then, eventually, the lights would come up and he would stand from his seat, going back out into the world he knew. A world where he knew that that text was from Clare, asking him to come over, or Adam was knocking on his front door, ready to go to the comic shop. Not this world where he didn't know if they were "on a break" or "broken up" and his best friend was in a whole different country. This was dangerous. This was terrifying.

This was Julia's fault.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: This one's a shorty, but it's only because it was natural end to it. The next one will be much longer. Please review! They are love and cookies and result in faster updates! Seriously, you guys have no idea how happy reviews make me. So, please, review! Thanks for reading!<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own anything and if I was making any money off of this, I wouldn't be working in retail. Please don't sue.

* * *

><p>A few days had passed and Holly J went back to work. It served as a nice distraction. She had customers to tend to, to put a smile on and to serve. Her bosses had been understanding and her co-workers supportive. Still, every time anyone asked how she was doing, she wanted to throw a plate of nachos at them. There was no word to describe how she was feeling and none of them had the two hours to spare for her to explain. A simple "I'm okay" had to suffice and it was tearing her up inside. She sighed as she gathered up her things, digging her hand in her purse for her bus ticket home. She felt a slip of paper and pulled it out, inspecting it.<p>

A phone number. Eli's phone number. She had completely forgotten that he had given it to her at the funeral home, if she ever needed to talk. To be honest, she thought it was a little weird that he was so willing to help her. There was no way that his offer could have been serious, could it? That's just something you say at times like those, you offer an ear to listen. It's what any decent human does. She shook her head and put the paper back in her purse, taking out her bus pass.

It was bugging her, though. There wasn't a lot of talk about Eli at school, at least none that she had ever heard. She knew he had some issues with fighting and he was kind of seen as a loner, even within his group of friends, which included Adam. Eli mostly kept to himself. So, why was he reaching out to her? Holly J sighed as the bus stopped near her apartment. She knew why, he told her why. He lost his girlfriend, she lost her ex-boyfriend. He knew what she was going through. He probably was the only one who knew what she was going through. Her parents certainly didn't and Fiona could only listen to so much. Even Anya wasn't really around to talk to. Still, it wasn't like Holly J was going to just spill her brain out to some stranger.

xxxxxxx

Eli climbed into his vintage hearse, throwing his backpack into the passenger's side. He gripped the steering wheel and sighed. It was only 5:30. He didn't feel like going home just yet, knowing that all he would do would be to sit in his room, resisting the urge to call Clare. But, he had no place to go, and no one to be with. It wasn't like Eli really minded being alone, but after so many days of solitude, a face of someone around his age would be welcome. Eli's phone vibrated in his pocket and he fished it out, narrowing his eyes at the number on the screen. He didn't recognize it at all, but it had the right area code, so it had to be someone he knew, right?

"Hello?" he said, flicking the phone open. The person on the other end didn't respond right away. He could hear breathing though, so he knew that someone was there, "Hello?"

"…Eli?," came a female voice. It sounded familiar, like one he had heard every day, but he just couldn't place it, "This is Eli's phone, right?"

"Who wants to know?" and he pinched the bridge on his nose, leaning his forehead on the steering wheel. He really wasn't in the mood to play games.

"It's… it's Holly J… from the funeral home?" Eli lifted his head up and started out the window. She had called. She had actually taken him seriously. He didn't really want to be her shoulder to cry on, it just seemed appropriate to offer it at the time.

"Oh…yeah. How are you?"

"I'm…fine. I'm good. I'm okay."

"You're…good," he repeated slowly.

"Yes, well… no, but. Look, I just found your number in my purse and I thought that since you offered…" she started, her tone changing. She was starting to get annoyed. Eli swallowed and shook his head. He couldn't believe this thought was actually crossing his mind, but the girl was seriously hurting and he didn't want to go home just yet.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"Then meet me outside of school in 15 minutes, okay?"

"…Yeah, okay. I'll be there," she responded and said goodbye, ending the phone call. Eli just shook his head and smirked, starting the car. That was the goal, wasn't it? Help someone else with their problems to help him forget about his own. One talk, that's all it would be. Just one conversation to help sort out how she felt and then they could go back to being strangers.

xxxxxxxxx

The cab dropped her off at the front of the school, her faded grey skinny jeans, ballet flats, and black fitted shirt being a far cry from the cowgirl outfit that she had on less than an hour ago. Holly J walked over and sat on the steps on the school, scanning to see if the resident emo kid was anywhere to be found. He probably wasn't going to show. Something better came up or he just couldn't be seen with little miss Susie High School. She would understand, he had a reputation as a badass to uphold and someone like her could ruin it faster than anything. He had no reason to be kind to her. They weren't friends and certainly not involved. He had no ties to her, and therefore if that wasn't him pulling to the parking lot now, she would get it and just go back home. Her eyes followed the black monstrosity as it maneuvered around the fence and pulled up right in front of her. She stood from her spot, crossing her arms in front of her chest as the passenger window rolled down.

"Get in," Eli said as he leaned over and opened the door for her from the inside. She didn't move.

"What?"

"Come on, get in."

"And where are we going?" she said as she took a few tentative steps towards the hearse. There was way too much death surrounding this whole situation. They had met at a funeral home, at her ex's wake, because his old girlfriend died, and now she was getting into his car, a vintage hearse. She was even wearing black. This could only be good.

"Somewhere to talk. Isn't that what you wanted to do?" he asked as she closed the door and took a quick look around. The bench seat was worn but comfortable, the dashboard had been well taken care of, and, besides the slight stench of death, it wasn't that bad. She refused to turn to look in the back. In her mind, from what she could see, it was still just a normal car. She nodded and smiled weakly and he put it in drive, stepping lightly on the pedal to pull out of the parking lot. The radio softly played some band she had never heard before and neither of them made any attempt at conversation. Holly J looked out her window, kind of regretting calling him now. He didn't know anything about her and she wasn't sure how much she wanted to tell him or how much he cared to listen. If this ride to wherever they were going was any indication, this was going to be just plain awkward.

Eli pulled off of the main road and onto a side street with a dead end, parking the car towards the end. Holly J looked out the front window and then over to him. The street ended with a high chain link fence with a small gap in it, opening to a little path into some woods. Holly J was fully expecting them to go to the Dot or something, not on a hike.

"I hope you're not opposed to a little nature," he said as he got out of the car.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Thanks, as always, for reading and please, please review! I turned on anonymous reviews so even if you don't have an account, you can let me know how I'm doing. I want to especially thank Toastmania for taking the time to review after every chapter and Steff and Lyssa for their encouragement. I love all my readers! Thanks again!<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Don't sue. It's not cool.

* * *

><p>The pair walked along the dirt path, deeper into the woods, Eli seemingly knowing the way. He peeked over his shoulder every few minutes to make sure Holly J was still with him. His initial instinct was to bring her to the abandoned church. He and Julia had found it one day and it became their spot, the place that they could go and be away from parents and school and everything that they never wanted. When things were finally going smoothly with Clare, he took her to it under the guise of a picnic. Neither situation ended particularly well, so he thought it would be better to bring Holly J to someplace only he knew of, trusting that she would appreciate the quiet and comfort it could bring.<p>

The woods cleared around three statues, each cracked and gray with time, the growth overtaking them. The first was half of a woman's face, buried in the ground. Holly J could tell that at one time, she had been beautiful, but age had not been kind to her. A little further down and to the right was a huge hand, it's pinky and ring finger buried much like her face, the other three seemingly cupping the earth. The furthest down was just a huge knee, surfacing, as if coming from water. Holly J couldn't help but stare, not exactly sure what he expected of her at this moment.

"It's called 'Mother Nature Awakes" and it's meant to be viewed as one giant sculpture," Eli started nervously, shoving his hands in his back pockets, eyeing her, "This used to be a park, all of these woods, but as the city grew, people forgot about it."

"How did you find it?" she asked, going over to the face and lightly touching her cheek, letting her fingers glide roughly over her eye. Even in the stone, her eyes looked tired, like she had been asleep forever, but also like she was tired of the world around her. Holly J blinked and looked back at him, bothered a bit that she was relating to a dirty rock in the ground.

"Just exploring one day. I come out here when I need to think and just be alone," he responded as he looked up at the branches of the trees forming a canopy over them, "Take a seat wherever you want." Holly J raised an eyebrow at him but did as she was told, going over and sitting in front of the hand, leaning back against it's palm. The fresh summer grass made it surprisingly comfortable and she found a strange security in being held by a statue. Eli followed suit, sitting near her, leaning against the inside knuckle. She looked over at him, smiling nervously. She wasn't exactly sure what to do.

"I don't really know anything about Declan… or you, for that matter," he started, "How did you guys meet?" Eli figured it was probably the best place to start, since all he knew about her was from school. Holly J looked down at her hands, smiling a little as she remembered.

"I, uh, hit his car on our way to school," she laughed a little, "He was very sweet about it, of course. Things like that never bothered Declan. He never got stressed about anything, except when it came to his family. He's…" she caught herself and swallowed, "He _was_ always so protective of Fiona, almost to a fault. I couldn't even imagine losing such a close sibling like that. She asked me to go to New York, you know. But I couldn't make myself, and now that I think about it…" Holly J faded off as she noticed Eli staring at her. "Right, me, not Fi.

"Declan and I got off to a rough start. His mom didn't like me and he wouldn't stand up to her. Of course, he eventually did when I said I wouldn't sneak around. We were…" Holly J hesitated a little, taking a breath to calm herself. This was the first time since he had passed that she really was able to just think about them together, and it was surprisingly painful, "Perfect. We were equals. I felt like I was better with him and he adored me. He even gave me his grandmother's bracelet. Sure, we had our rough patches, like in New York, but we got through them. I felt like we were unstoppable.

"And then the distance came into play. He stayed in New York to go to Vanderbilt and I had to come back to Degrassi. It was a lot harder than I thought it was going to be. Skype and phone calls helped, but I still went to bed alone every night, and that hurt. He was the closest person in my life for so long, and to not have him there was just…"

"Hell." Eli finished for her. Holly J looked up from the ground and met his eyes. It wasn't a question. He wasn't suggesting it. It was a statement. He knew.

"Yeah," she said quietly. Eli wasn't taking his eyes off of hers, yet giving no suggestion as to how he knew how she felt. It was slightly unnerving to her, but there was a sense of relief, that she wouldn't have to explain every little emotion, that he understood.

"Then I saw some pictures of him and this girl Tinsley on FaceRange and thought that he was cheating on me, so I broke up with him, over the phone, in a voicemail," she continued, "Not the ideal way to do things, but that's what happens in long distance relationships. Of course, Declan came up to see me before he even heard the voicemail and he thought the whole thing was hilarious. He said that he wanted to make things easier for me, to start paying for things…"

"Paying for things? That doesn't sound good," Eli commented. Holly J chuckled darkly.

"My family was hit pretty hard when the economy fell, so we had to move into an apartment the same weekend of my SAT's and when Declan wanted to go on a visit to Yale. He offered to pay for movers, pay for my trip, pay to reschedule the test, and even give me 'fun money' so that I wouldn't have to get a job. And it bothered me. It felt like he was paying me to be with him, like a prostitute. He said that money exists to solve problems and it made me feel like I was one of his problems. So, we broke up for real. He went back to New York and I continued on here.

"He came back, though, for the Theater Awards. He was 'Space Awakening's director, which is how Clare knew him," she added. Eli nodded in acknowledgment, redirecting his focus onto the stone that he was leaning into. He didn't want to think about Clare right now. "I was excited and happy to see him, of course, but, I only wanted to be friends. Fi hadn't told him that Sav and I were… a thing, and he tried to get me back, to say the least." Holly J shuddered slightly and curled her legs under her, leaning into the sun-warmed stone a bit. "I was so hurt that he would do that to me, but we talked about it and decided that we would see how things were in August, when we both went off to Yale," she finished. It felt odd to lay their whole history out like that, but Eli was attentive and a good listener. She looked over at him and he nodded slightly, signaling that she could continue.

"I still loved him," she said softly, almost as if she was confessing it for the first time, "I wanted to be with him, I just needed time. I needed to figure myself out, make decisions for me. I think he knew that, and that's why he was so willing to wait."

"Declan sounds like he was a really good guy," Eli said in tones to match. Holly J looked over and smiled weakly. She wasn't sure if Eli was being totally sincere, but it didn't matter; it was nice to hear anyway. He looked out into the woods, taking a breath, preparing himself. Very few people knew the entire story, and no one presently in his life did, not even Clare. He swallowed, the silence around them starting to press on his ears. He appreciated that Holly J just let him be, not needing to fill the void with mindless chatter. She probably had a lot going through her mind too.

"Julia…" he started, his voice small and cracking a bit, "She was my first. She was the big one. She was the one that you always remember and you always compare the others to. She made me feel less alone, like I wasn't weird or scary. We met at school… my old school," he continued, his voice gaining strength as he went on, "It was just simple. We had a class together, I was interested in her, she in me, and we just clicked.

"She had a lot of problems at home. Her step-mom didn't like her, thinking that Julia was a depressed drug addict, which was far from the truth. So, she would stay at my house, first only when they had another fight, then for a few days at a time, and eventually, all the time. My parents loved her and were more that happy to provide a safe haven for her. Her dad didn't like it, but if it meant that she was happy and could get along with her step-mom for a few hours at a time, he was willing to let her stay.

"She was the love of my life. I devoted everything to her. We had talked about plans for after high school, how we wanted to do a little traveling, maybe around the States or Europe or something before going to school," and he let a small smile crawl across his lips. He hadn't thought about future plans since she had passed, being determined to live for the moment instead of wishing his life away, "We were going to get married. I didn't propose to her or anything, but I just knew. Julia was my future.

"Her dad, step-mom, and her started going to family counseling a few times a week. It was her step-mom's idea. Things were getting better between all of them, a lot better, and I was happy for them. She spent a weekend back at their house and she was so excited to tell me how nice it was…" Eli sighed. He wasn't proud of this next part, and this is why he never told anyone, "The therapist suggested that it was time for her to move back in permanently, and she wanted to go. I freaked out. I didn't want her to go. I wasn't convinced that things had changed and that everything would just fall apart again. We had a fight that night, both of us screaming horrible words at each other and she packed a bag, saying that she needed a few days away from me. I just let her go." Holly J watched as his eyes went vacant, the memories clouding his thoughts, getting lost in his own head. She recognized it in herself.

"I got a call from her dad at the hospital, telling me to get down there right away. She was gone before I even got in the car…" he whispered, closing his eyes, covering his face with his hands. Holly J was stunned. She at least got some semblance of a good bye from Declan, but to lose someone that suddenly, after saying things that you couldn't take back? It was unimaginable. She wanted to stand up and run away, his obvious pain being too much for her to witness, but he had brought her here, trusted her with his story, and she couldn't just throw that away.

"I'm so sorry, Eli," she whispered, wanting badly to comfort him in some way but not being sure how.

"She was hit by a car, on her bike, after she left my house. Asshole never even saw her. Of course, her step-mom blamed me, saying that if I would have just been supportive, I should have driven her home and it wouldn't have happened. Part of me still thinks she's right."

"No. You had no idea what was going to happen. It's not your fault, Eli." He looked up from his hands, meeting her gaze, his green mixing with her blue. Many people had said those words to him over the years, but for some reason, they meant a lot coming from her. She knew it all now, was going through the same pain that he was dealing with, yet she wasn't running away. She was willingly taking it on, just as he was willingly taking on her story. He slowly nodded and took a breath, not breaking his gaze.

"I know."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: For some reason, this chapter was pretty hard to write. Hmm... Anyway, as always, read and review and I will love you forever! This is my own Julia theory. Not the most dramatic or dark theory, but I wanted it to be simple. Special thanks to ToastMania (you rock so hard!), Steff (forever grateful for your patience!), and Lyssa (unstoppable writing duo!). Thanks again for reading and review!<strong>


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I'm so poor you would probably lose money if you sued me.

* * *

><p>The pair talked until it became too dark to see the woods for the trees, the city seemingly falling asleep around them, and yet, they stayed, sharing the comfort of that hand. Eli was still in disbelief at how easily he could share with her and Holly J was just thankful that she didn't have to say anything to be understood.<p>

They joined hands and used their cell phones as crude flashlights, being careful to not trip on any stray roots. They laughed as the sounds of traffic slowly replaced the sounds of the crickets and they blinked as the orange buzz of the streetlight polluted the beauty of the moonlight. The drive home was comfortable and relaxing, both agreeing that they should "do this again sometime" but making no solid plans for where or when.

Eli slept better than he had since Clare left, and the realization scared him a little. He liked having an actual conversation with someone, rather than just the little status updates that seemed to be how everyone communicated these days. He just told himself that it was just because he was lonely, that if Adam were there then he wouldn't feel any sort of attachment, or fondness, or whatever this was towards Holly J. It wasn't like he was developing romantic feelings for her, far from it, but there was a certain amount of pleasure gained from being around her.

Holly J didn't sleep at all, nights like that becoming more and more frequent since graduation. She had just opened up to a total stranger and he didn't run away. He didn't think she was crazy for loving Declan but not wanting to be with him. He showed a genuine interest in her and he didn't want to get under her skirt. But, he wasn't exactly the type that she could invite to hang out on a Friday night. Not that Holly J was ashamed to be seen with him or anything, but they were from total opposite ends of the spectrum. He drove a hearse, for Christ's sake.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"I can't believe your parents gave you a car for graduation…" Eli started as he leaned over the side, his hands elbow deep in the engine.

"Hey, it's partly a birthday present too. And it's not like it's new, obviously," Sav defended. A few days after the night with Holly J, he had texted Eli asking him to come take a look at the car and see if he could do some general maintenance on it. After how well Eli repaired his dad's truck, Sav knew that he could trust his new baby in Eli's hands.

"Well, you got a good deal. It's in good shape for having 85,000 miles on it. No obvious body damage, only thing that really needs replacing is a hose. Just, uh, make sure you don't speed," Eli joked as he wiped off his hands on a towel.

"Ha ha, very funny. I'm not doing anything to risk getting this thing taken away," and he lovingly patted the roof. Eli could only chuckle, knowing how much Morty meant to him. "Hey, so you're coming to my party, right?"

"What party?"

"My birthday/graduation party in two weeks, first weekend of July. It's going to be pandemic, dude."

"Um, sure. Send me the details on FaceRange or something and I'll be there," Eli said with a smile as the two entered the house. A party. Now that was something to look forward to.

"I'll do that tonight. Want something to drink?"

"Yeah, thanks. Do you have anyplace I could wash my hands?" Eli asked.

"Go up the stairs, first door on the left, right across from my sister's room," Sav answered as he poured two glasses of lemonade. Eli nodded and jogged up the stairs, finding the bathroom easily. Even though the door was closed, he could hear Alli's ringtone. Backstreet Boys. Typical. He shook his head and chuckled, lathering the soap in his hands, washing the remaining grease off.

"So, was it a good kiss?" Eli heard through the door. He found it amusing that girls were way worse than guys when it came to kissing and telling. Guys always got the bad rap that all they ever did was talk about sex, but you could be sure that if a girl got some, her friends knew every detail. Eli couldn't help but listen.

"You guys broke up?... It's only been a week and a half… Well, I'm proud of you…" there were many giggles in between sentences and Eli could only shake his head. He would never understand girls. He opened the bathroom door, getting bored of eavesdropping until he heard, "Saint Clare, only you could pick up a guy at Jesus camp…"

It was like the wind had been knocked out of him. He couldn't breathe. He felt nauseous. He had to have heard wrong. Yeah, that was it. Too much loud music in the car. The door made it hard to hear anything correctly. There was no way that Clare Edwards, _his_ Clare, would do that to him. They didn't break up; _they were on a break._ There was a difference, a big difference.

"I'm sure your mom will be happy though. After Eli, anyone would make your mom happy," he heard filtered through the wood. He closed his eyes, trying to focus on his breathing to keep from hyperventilating. She was cheating on him. She was cheating on him at bible camp, of all places. And, the worst part was that she didn't think she was cheating on him, since, to her, they had broken up after the funeral. His stomach turned and he ran back into the bathroom, releasing its contents into the toilet. His whole world was crashing down around him and there was nothing he could do.

Eli sat on the cool tile floor, wiping the saliva off his lip. A pair of pink flip-flops stood in front of him as he opened his eyes. He slowly looked up at the messenger, still with her phone in her hand.

"Clare? Maybe… maybe you should call Eli tonight. I don't think he knew that you guys were over."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: As always, thanks for reading and review! Love you!**


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: If you haven't figured it out by now, I don't own Degrassi.

* * *

><p>Holly J sat outside The Dot with Anya, just finishing up lunch. They hadn't seen each other in a few weeks and needed to do a lot of catching up, Anya gushing over how wonderful Dr. Chris was. Of course, Holly J listened attentively but all this lovey-dovey talk was making her a little irritated. Dr. Chris seemed nice enough and everything, but with everything concerning Declan and Eli, she just didn't want to hear it. Holly J's cell phone vibrated in her purse and she dug it out, checking the name.<p>

_Eli._

They hadn't spoken in four days, not that she was counting or anything. She just assumed that he got busy and forgot about hanging out. She apologized to Anya as she opened her phone.

"Hey, what's up?" she greeted lightly.

"…Can you come over?" Eli asked with a soft, raspy voice.

"What?"

"I really… I really need to talk to someone right now…" It sounded like he was tired, almost like he had been crying.

"Well, I'm out right now. I can meet up with you somewhere…"

"No," he interrupted. Holly J was starting to get scared. "Please, just come over."

"Right now?" she asked. She didn't want to be rude and leave Anya, but she got the feeling that something big had happened. "Hello?" The line had gone dead. He hung up on her. Holly J blinked and shook her head, putting her phone back in her purse.

"What was that all about?" Anya asked.

"It's… it's nothing. My friend is just having some sort of crisis and needs someone to talk to. Knowing him, this is all because his car wouldn't start or something stupid. Look, I have to go," Holly J explained as she stood from the table. She knew that it had to be something more since he sounded terrified on the phone, but Anya just wouldn't understand if she told the truth. None of Holly J's friends would understand.

"Overreacting much? Who is he?" Holly J hesitated a little, knowing the reaction was not going to be good.

"Um, Eli Goldsworthy?" Anya looked at her like she had grown a second head.

"The kid whose locker spills out everywhere?"

"Yeah."

"Doesn't he drive a hearse? I heard he named it Morty."

"I know…"

"Holly J… This is a little weird…"

"Look, you're dating a 25 year old so you have no room to talk," Holly J spat out, getting annoyed and very impatient, "And we're not dating. He's just helping me through some things and we're talking. That's it." Anya just looked at her and sighed.

"Okay. Go 'talk'."

"And Morty is a lot nicer than it looks," she said as she walked away from the table.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Holly J knocked harshly on the door, tapping her foot to keep herself from pacing. She was really worried about Eli and only hoped that his pet goldfish died or something along those lines. She didn't really know if, emotionally, she could handle anything more than that. She knocked again, a little louder this time and the heavy brown door opened to a bleary-eyed, slightly heavy-set, aging rocker. Holly J blinked as she took a small step back. This was Eli's dad?

"Well? You woke me up. This better be good," he gruffly said as he leaned on the door frame. Holly J shook herself out of it, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Is Eli here? He asked me to come over," she asked with a slight bite to her voice.

"You're friends with Eli?"

"I suppose I am. Is he up in his room?"

"Yeah, he's been up there since yesterday. Won't talk to no one, except you, I guess." Since yesterday? This definitely went way beyond a dead goldfish.

"Well, may I come in and talk with him?" She was getting impatient.

"Clarebear, Video Game Kid… Princess," and the man just shook his head, walking away and leaving the door wide open.

Holly J stepped through the threshold and closed the door behind her, taking a survey of the hallway. It was dark for midday, but the guy did say he had been sleeping, so light wasn't really necessary. The walls were decorated with a few family pictures, the usual baby ones scattered amongst the posters for various bands and festivals. It was in complete contrast to any other house she had been in, but that's Eli. Holly J climbed the stairs, following the hallway down until she came across a door with a skull hanging on the front and a padlock loosely hanging from the frame. This had to be Eli's room. Holly J knocked softly.

"Go away, Bullfrog," came his muffled voice. She could only guess that "Bullfrog" was his dad.

"It's Holly J…" she answered, opening the door just enough so that she could slip inside.

The room was even darker than the hallway, the only light coming from a small window next to the bed. The walls were plastered with posters for what looked like to be every band that had ever played Toronto; every surface a home to some nick-knack or other. Eli was stretched out underneath the black comforter, facing the opposite wall. Holly J took a few small steps into the room, tiptoeing over various articles of clothing, looking for a desk chair or any other place that she could sit. She found nothing so she approached the bed, sitting on the edge behind him. He didn't acknowledge her existence and even in the darkness, she could tell that he hadn't slept; his hair messed up from tossing and turning all night. Holly J placed a light touch on his bare arm, just letting him know that she was there like he asked her to be. After a moment, he rolled over to face her, the blanket falling away slightly, revealing his bare, toned chest. Holly J averted her eyes, not really knowing if it was okay to look.

"Stop trying to be modest. I'm still partially clothed," he deadpanned, noticing how her cheeks blushed slightly. Holly J just rolled her eyes and met his gaze.

"What happened?" she tried lightly. There had to be some reason he needed her there right now, and it wasn't like this was a booty call. Eli closed his eyes at her words. His head was still spinning from every fleeting thought of the day before.

"When you and Declan broke up, how did it happen?" he asked.

"I told you, he was trying to buy my love, so we ended it," she responded, slightly confused at the question itself.

"No, what were the words used? Where? Who actually said 'We should break up," he insisted. Holly J took a breath, trying her best to remember that day. They were in a taxi, on their way to the airport. Declan had embarrassed her in front of her friends and her mother's words were still in her mind.

"We were going to the airport for the Yale trip, and I just kind of had a realization that Declan was doing everything he could to make me a part of his plans, but wasn't giving my plans any consideration. And I just knew that I needed some time to figure myself out, away from him. So, I took off the necklace he gave me the night before, handed it to him, and said 'Maybe we should go on break…'"

"See, that, right there," Eli interrupted as he sat up, "You and Declan were on a break. You were not broken up."

"What? Yes, we were, Eli. What does this matter anyway?"

"Did Declan know that it was a break up? Or, when he came back for the theater awards did he think that you two were going to kiss and make up?" Eli accused. He was so frustrated with how girls used a "break" as the ending point of a relationship, rather than just ending it on one fell swoop.

"I don't know. I suppose he did. I told you, he tried to get me back and after some poor decisions, he told Fiona that we were officially back together," Holly J spat out. She didn't know why she was being put on trial here.

"Poor decisions? Like what, not just saying, 'Declan, we aren't together. We broke up over a month ago,"

"What is your problem, Eli? Declan pushed things too far after I told him no and that I didn't want things to go as far as they ended up," her voice getting louder the more she tried to explain.

"But, still, Declan didn't know that you guys were officially over until a month after you ended it, in your mind," Eli challenged.

"Well, it's not like we can just call him up and ask him, can we?" Holly J yelled as she stood from the bed. She knew that she didn't handle the break up in the best way, and that it was confusing for everyone, but she didn't need Eli picking apart her every word, making her feel even worse about it all. Holly J bent down and picked up her purse from his floor, shouldering it and stepping away from the bed, towards the door.

"Wait…" Eli's voice came, small and hollow.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: A cliffhanger! Well, sort of. Reviews are always appreciated. Sorry this chapter is a day late but if you had the week I had, you would understand. I want to thank ToastMania for being such a faithful reader, Steff for always letting me know that she wants more, and Lyssa for being my therapist most days. Please review! Thanks again for reading!**


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I wish I could come up with my own concepts so I could make some money, but I can't, so I do this instead. Don't sue.

* * *

><p>"Is this why you needed me to come over so urgently, just so you could point out my flaws and rip into me? Well, no thank you, I already know what I did wrong," she spat. Eli didn't mean to make her want to leave or to feel bad about Declan. He couldn't understand why Clare would do this to him. He needed to a female perspective on the whole situation and to find out that Holly J had basically done the exact same thing to Declan hurt him slightly.<p>

"Holly J, please don't leave," he whispered into the darkness, his voice slightly shaking from the fresh set of tears that threatened to give him away. Holly J placed a hand on the doorknob, looking down into space. She had thought Eli was different. He was supposed to understand. But, right now, he was no different than Anya or any of her other friends, questioning her every move, making her explain the past. It wasn't fair of him to make her relive those moments and to assume how Declan felt about it all. He didn't know Declan like she did. He didn't know Declan at all.

"Why shouldn't I?" she asked, quietly but firmly, keeping her eyes glued to the ground.

Silence. He wouldn't respond. Holly J just shook her head, opening the door to see herself out. She didn't need to waste her time. She would figure out some other way to deal with everything.

"Because I need you."

The admission terrified Eli. He had lost his entire world and she was the last remaining piece of humanity, the only person who he had been able to share himself with who hadn't left him yet. If she walked out that door, she would be taking a part of him with her. He didn't even know if she had that much compassion, to stay for someone who just insulted the love of her life, but he hoped.

She had one foot out that door. All she needed to do was to put her other in front of it and she could be gone. She wouldn't have to deal with the inevitable backlash that was sure to come after Anya told everyone within earshot that Holly J Sinclair was in Eli Goldsworthy's command. She wouldn't have to deal with all the black and death that came with him. She wouldn't have to deal with his mood swings and all the mystery. She could just go back to her silent suffering, taking it one day at a time.

Eli closed his eyes, covering his face with his hands and laid back on the bed, cursing at himself for taking his frustrations out on the one person who didn't deserve it. There was no way he could fix this. He couldn't take back what he said, he could only hope that later on tonight, a well timed phone call and an offer for coffee at the Dot would at least get her talking to him again. He couldn't lose her too.

The mattress shifted again and he dared to peek through his fingers, watching as she silently lay down next to him, arms at her sides, staring up at his ceiling. Relief spread throughout him, the room itself seeming just a bit brighter than it was. Eli didn't know what he did to deserve her as a friend, but he didn't question it.

"Thank you," he quietly whispered, swallowing back all his regret.

"Shut up," she said, the harshness in her voice indicating that she hadn't quite forgiven him. It didn't matter, this would do, "Tell me what happened. Tell me why I'm here, Eli."

Eli opened his mouth, prepared to confess the past 20 or so hours to the woman lying next to him, but the words just wouldn't come. Saying it out loud would make it real, and he wasn't sure if he could bare it. Eli closed his eyes, taking a deep breath, and gripped the blankets around him.

"Clare… and I had a, um… a misunderstanding," he said, his voice thick and raspy.

"A… misunderstanding?" Holly J repeated in hushed tones. She knew that it had to be something more, but she was going to let Eli reveal what he wanted to in due time.

"After the wake, we went to the Dot and she said that since she was going to be away at camp, that we should go on a… a break," he breathed out. It all made sense now, why Eli was giving her the third degree about the terms of her break up with Declan. "She thought we were…" He couldn't finish the thought. Clare had never said the words "break up." He wasn't naïve for thinking that they were still together.

"… and you thought it was only for the summer," Holly J finished for him, knowing full well what the misunderstanding was. Eli nodded into the darkness, thankful that Holly J could read his thoughts.

"I was at Sav's house, looking over his car, and I heard his sister on the phone with her, asking how good the kiss was… and that only Clare could pick up a guy at bible camp," Holly J closed her eyes for a moment, her heart dropping. Saint Clare had cheated on him, but she didn't think it was cheating. She didn't even have the guts to tell him herself, he had to overhear it in conversation. No wonder he had sequestered himself in his room all day. Clare had certainly changed since being the judgey Minor Niner who wrote weird fiction about Declan.

"I'm so sorry, Eli…" Holly J breathed out. She was so angry, having a hard time grasping how someone could just break another person and not care. She had half a mind to find out where this camp was and to bitch Clare out, but she knew that wouldn't solve anything. It flat out wasn't right. You don't do that to a person, especially not someone like Eli.

"Don't apologize for her, Holly J. You didn't do anything wrong," he said with an almost defeated tone in is voice. Clare was the first person he truly trusted after Julia passed away; she was the first person to make him feel like a human again. If it weren't for Clare, Eli wouldn't even be able to be here, talking to Holly J, and forming a friendship. And it was because of Clare that he almost ruined that too, "I'm sorry for what I said before. You're not Clare, and I'm not Declan. I shouldn't have questioned your relationship."

Holly J turned her head towards him, smiling a little at his apology. She felt a little guilty for being so mad at him, now that she knew the reasons why he was acting that way.

"Don't worry about it. It's fine, I'm over it."

"Thank you," he whispered, his eyes meeting hers, "Thank you for staying. I don't deserve you."

She turned over onto her side, facing him, never breaking their gaze. Eli was only 16, but he had an old soul. He had already experienced and seen so much in his life, taking everything to heart, never letting anything go. Holly J could tell how much it was starting to weigh on him, how much he needed someone to be with him. She gingerly reached a hand out and with the lightest of touches, brushed his bangs out from his eyes, letting him see her a little clearer. Eli closed his eyes softly at her touch, leaning his head into her hand a bit. Her fingertips on his cheek felt soothing. He wanted so badly to reach out and hold her, to take some of her comforting warmth, to show her how badly he needed her. All too soon though, Holly J moved her hand, placing it lightly back onto the strip of mattress between them.

"You're my friend. I'm here, any time, whenever you need to talk, you know that," she replied in equally hushed tones. It felt a little odd to her that this had all started because he was supposed to be helping her deal, and now she was paying him back in kind. She was happy to be there for him though. Eli could only smile appreciatively at her, laying his own hand down on top of his comforter, their fingertips barely grazing. Reflexively, Holly J curled her fingers towards his, trying to grasp at what had already passed.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Once again, thanks for reading! And reviews would be super sweet too. If you don't have an account and don't want to leave an anonymous review, you can throw it in my "ask" on my tumblr: Hysteria87 [dot] tumblr [dot] com. Thanks again especially to ToastMania, Steff, Lyssa, and RochelleLabian (who is seriously kickass and made my week). Love you all!**


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: Oh dear lord, I'm so poor.

* * *

><p>Eli spent the next few hours spilling about Clare, how he had ran over her glasses and how Julia almost ruined their relationship. He carefully omitted his hoarding, deciding that since it was under control now, Holly J didn't really need to know about it. He liked her. He liked being around her. He didn't want her running off and thinking he was some sort of freak. Although, she knew most of his story at this point anyway, and she had yet to run away. That thought was comforting to him.<p>

Holly J shared the "Madam Degrassi" era, revealing how Clare had a crush on Declan and may or may not have had her first truly lustful fantasy because of him. She enjoyed seeing Eli smile again, finding the whole story as amusing as she had. Eli had never read any of Clare's _Fortnight_ fiction, partly to let her have her own, private outlet and partly because it was banal vampire fan fiction. The standards weren't exactly high in that genre. Holly J told him of her love of Roald Dahl's books, her secret obsession with _Mamma Mia_, and how Jon Stewart is forever on her "list." The two argued over if _Fight Club_ or _Choke_ was better, if Joss Whedon was justified for killing Wash at the end of _Serenity, _and they agreed that the only good Nicholas Sparks adaptation was _The Notebook_, Holly J kind of loving the fact that Eli had not only seen it, but had read the book too. That bed became their sanctuary; time seemingly falling away with every strand of red hair that spread out on his pillow, prior modesty and fights being long forgotten.

"I should probably go…" Holly J started as she stared at the text from her mother on the phone. It was already fairly late, the time passing faster than either of them wanted.

"Do you have to? My parents don't mind…"

"Eli," she interrupted, "I do. My mom still thinks I'm with Anya." Eli nodded in understanding. As much as he didn't want her to go, he didn't want her to get into trouble so that she wouldn't be able to go out again.

"What are you doing tomorrow?" he asked as she sat up and swung her legs over the side of the bed, picking up her shoes and slipping them on.

"Uh, I work,"

"The day after?"

"Working. My next day off is Thursday," she explained.

"Wanna hang out then?" he asked, spinning the ring on his finger nervously.

"Yeah, sure, that should be okay," Holly J answered after a moment of deliberation. She did want to see him again earlier, but she had made plans to see Chantay at some point this week, and juggling friends and work was getting more difficult. She couldn't even imagine if she still had school or if Fi was here. Eli smiled a little, not liking that he wouldn't see her for 4 days.

"Here, I'll walk you out," he offered and he threw the blanket off himself, standing from his bed to put a robe on. Holly J watched him, allowing her eyes to linger a bit on his toned chest. The boy was skinny, she knew that, but there was definition there, the muscles stretching in his shoulders as he reached up to unhook the garment from his closet door. He smirked a little as he put in on, noticing her staring but deciding to not say anything. He didn't feel uncomfortable or anything, quite the opposite actually. It had been a long time since any girl had looked at him like that. The furthest Clare had ever gotten was her fingers trailing under the hem of his shirt once in awhile as they were making out but she never dared to try to take it off.

"Do you still want to go?" he asked lightly, taking a small step towards her. Holly J took a breath and snapped herself out of it, tearing her eyes from his body, meeting his gaze. She let a small smile crawl across her lips, her cheeks getting warm from embarrassment.

"Um, yeah, I should get going," she whispered and stood up, shouldering her purse and taking a few steps towards the door. She walked through the threshold and Eli led her down the stairs, stopping at the bottom.

"So, I'll see you Thursday?" he asked.

"Yeah, but you know I always have my phone on me if you need anything," she responded.

"Thanks… for everything, Holly J," and Eli leaned in, wrapping his arms around her waist. The girl responded in kind, holding him tightly to her. She didn't really want to go but it was nearing nine at night and she knew that if she stayed any longer, she would never leave. The pair broke apart after a moment and Eli opened the door for her, placing a light touch on the small of her back as she left. He watched her walk down the block and hail a taxi from the store on the corner, safely being taken home. Closing the door, he turned and made his way into the kitchen, Cece sitting at the table as Bullfrog finished up some dishes.

"Evening…" Bullfrog said gruffly with a knowing smile as Eli dished himself out some dinner.

"Baby boy, she could have stayed for dinner. There's plenty to go around," his mother lightly chastised.

"Who is the princess anyway?" Bullfrog asked as Eli sat at the table. He really wasn't in the mood to explain things to his parents, but he knew that he owed them something about the new girl in his life.

"That's Holly J, and she's just a friend."

"Oh, okay, a _friend_…" teased Cece.

"She managed to get you out of your room finally," Bullfrog continued. Eli sighed lightly into his plate.

"Clare and I… we're over," Eli said, a little surprised at how easily the words came from him now. It hurt a lot less than it did six hours ago. He wouldn't go as far as to say that he was over her already, but he was more numb to the whole situation. After all, to Clare, they had been over for almost two weeks now.

"I'm so sorry, love," Cece sympathized, reaching over to place her hand on his. Eli smiled lightly to her, appreciative of her concern.

"It's fine," he breathed, "It's probably for the best. Things had been… strained between us."

"So, who is this Holly J?" Bullfrog asked as he sat at the table, "She's cute. And feisty." Eli shot his dad a look of confusion, not wanting to give away how much he had enjoyed her company.

"She's just a friend, like I said. She's going through some stuff and I'm helping her out."

"Seems like she's helping you out too," Cece said lightly. Eli looked down at his plate and smiled a little to himself.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Holly J finally sat down at her computer after lying to her mom about where she was all afternoon. She included her mother as one of the people in her life that just wouldn't understand her friendship with Eli. After all, her mom didn't even really like Declan, who was a saint in comparison. Eli's bad boy factor was a part of his appeal, but Holly J knew that wasn't all he was. He was kind and gentle, protective of the people that were important in his life. He saw the beauty in the world… and the evil too. He was easy to break if you knew how. He wasn't at all scary or anything else that the people at school had said. She liked being around him, liked knowing this side of a person.

She clicked on the icon to bring up her internet and clicked on the link to her FaceRange page, noticing the little red "1" in the corner, informing her of a notification. She clicked on it and the page changed to an event:

Bhandari Birthday Bash!

Come celebrate my 18th birthday and my graduation from Degrassi! We have the Willow Ballroom reserved for the entire night and there will be food, music, dancing, and a pandemic time overall. Dress up so my parents think this is worth the money they are putting out for this.

When: Saturday, July 2

Where: Rolling Meadows Country Club, Ajax, Ontario

Start: 7:30 pm

End: 12:00 am

You have been invited by Eli Goldsworthy. RSVP: I'm Attending | No | Maybe

Holly J sat back in her chair, staring at the invite.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: As always, thank you so much for your patience and for reading. It really means so much to me. ToastMania, Rochelle, Steff, and Lyssa are the four greatest people on this planet and I genuinely tear up when they review. All of my readers make me so happy. Thanks again.**

**Oh, and if you're never seen the show "Firefly" or the subsequent movie "Serenity," go watch it right now. You will not be disappointed.**


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: Yeah, I don't own it. Go ahead and shove it in my face some more, why don't you?

* * *

><p>"See, here's the thing, Eli. Sav didn't invite me, and it's probably for a reason. Our break up wasn't exactly on the best of terms," Holly J tried explaining to the brunette boy currently leading the way along the path. The four days between their last meeting and this seemed like forever for both of them, especially because Holly J had yet to respond to the invitation, keeping Eli in suspense. It wasn't that she didn't want to go, it was just that Sav and her hadn't really spoken since the break up and she thought that if he wanted her there, he would invite her himself.<p>

"Don't be ridiculous, Sav won't mind," Eli retorted as the path opened up to their statue and he took a seat near the hand again.

"And you know this for a fact?" she said as she sat near him. He looked away, taking a sudden interest in a stick on the ground.

"No, but…"

"See? It's his birthday and graduation party, he probably doesn't want any awkwardness with ex-girlfriends."

"It's only awkward if you make it awkward."

"Eli, we could barely get through the morning announcements by the end of the year. The break up wasn't mutual, by far. He was really hurt." Holly J tried to explain. She didn't think that Sav actually hated her or anything because he did extend sympathies when he heard the news about Declan, but she knew that she wasn't his first choice in a person to play Boggle with anymore.

"What if I handle it?" Eli slowly said after a moment.

"What do you mean?"

"I'll talk to him, ask him if it's okay if you come."

"Eli…" Holly J was really unsure about all of this. She never was one to crash parties or anything like that.

"If Sav said it was okay for you to come to his party, would you come?" Eli laid it out. He still didn't really know a whole lot of people from Degrassi well enough to be semi-social with them and he didn't want to be hanging on Sav all night. He was sure that a lot of them would ask about Clare and he just didn't want to face that alone. He would need an ally there.

"I mean, if I didn't have to work…"

"Ask for it off."

"The schedule comes out tomorrow. I'll text you if I have it off. But, you have to clear it with Sav first. I don't want to just show up unexpected," she said, smiling a bit. The party sounded like it was going to be a lot of fun and it would be nice to hang out with a lot of these people that Holly J hadn't seen since graduation. Knowing Sav's parents, it was going to be big, and grand, and a blast. Anyone would be crazy to miss it… if they were invited.

"Don't worry about it. I'll handle it," and he smiled at her, "I can drive, if you want." Holly J's smile slipped slightly, breaking her gaze.

"Uh, I don't think that's a good idea…"

"Why not? It's not a big deal."

"It's just that…" Holly J didn't really know how to lightly explain it to Eli without possibly hurting his feelings.

"Spit it out, Sinclair," he said softly. He already had an idea of what it was. It was the same reason they didn't go to the Dot today or why she told her mom that she was with Anya when she was with him. Holly J looked up at him with exasperation.

"We just… no one really knows about… us."

"… us?" he deadpanned.

"Just that, we've been hanging out, that we're friends now." Eli met her eyes with intensity.

"Why does that matter?"

"It doesn't, Eli. But, I know these people. They'll assume things."

"Like what? That we're together?" Holly J nodded lightly and Eli rolled his eyes, "So? I don't really care what people think."

"Well, I kind of do." Eli set his jaw and looked away, taking a deep breath to calm himself. "It's not like I'm saying that I'm embarrassed to be seen with you or anything, it's just that… we need to ease this whole thing into the public," Holly J could tell that he was a bit upset about her hesitation and felt horrible. She never meant to hurt him, "Look, talk to Sav, make sure he's okay with me being there, I'll get the night off somehow. We can hang out at the party and after if you want to," and she reached over and took his hand in hers. Eli's eyes fell upon their intertwined fingers. He didn't want to be mad at her. Holly J wasn't like Clare; she wasn't going to scream in the middle of the street to prove a point. The people who were going to be at the party were more her friends and she had every right to need to do this at her speed. To him, it was just a ride in the hearse, but to her, it was an arrival, a statement of who she was right now. He couldn't push that. It wouldn't be right. Eli nodded and genuinely smiled, meeting her gaze.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

Sav was okay with it. She had the night off work. Holly J had to go, and that was why she was currently in the city center on a Saturday afternoon by herself, trying to find a dress to wear. She wanted it to be sexy yet classy, something worthy of a party. To be honest, she wanted to impress Eli. He had only ever seen her in her school uniform or jeans, more often than not, exhausted after a day at work. The only exception was at Declan's funeral, but that certainly wasn't the moment she wanted him to think that she was at her most beautiful. She flicked through the racks, stopping at various dresses and making faces. Post-prom dress choices were slim; the only ones being left over this late in the season were left over for a reason.

Holly J cursed at herself for agreeing to go. She supposed that if she really didn't find anything she could always wear the purple dress that she wore to the Spring Semi-Formal, although she really didn't like it anymore. She wanted this one to be new, something no one had seen her in before. She didn't have to be "Holly J the Vice President" anymore; she could really be herself. Or, rather, a less stressed version of her, at least for this summer. Eli allowed her that. He didn't expect her to have all the answers because he didn't have to ask the questions.

Holly J's eyes were caught by a small sparkle, drawing her over to the rack. She furrowed her eyebrows as she pulled the dress out, studying it. This was it. This was the dress.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: A chapter on time for once! Sav's party next week! Woot! Thanks for reading and welcome new readers and subscribers! Thanks so much for taking an interest! Special thanks as always to ToastMania, Rochelle, Steff, and especially Lyssa (for having to work which left me 6 hours to do nothing but write). Love you all and you should review! Reviews, no matter how big or small, make me so happy! I should have next week's up on time, but I may be a sobbing mess because of Harry Potter, so that would be the only reason it would be delayed. Thanks again!**


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I spent all my money on Harry Potter stuff. The song "Cannonball" was written and performed by Damien Rice and belongs to it's respectful owners.

* * *

><p>"Baby boy, you look so handsome…" Cece gushed as she adjusted the collar on Eli's jacket. Eli rolled his eyes but cracked a small smile nonetheless. He had opted for black skinny jeans, a black dress shirt, his red jacket from Vegas Night and a black tie draped around the collar, hoping to make some better memories for the outfit. "Is Holly J going to be at this party?" she asked with a knowing tone.<p>

"Maybe."

"Are you picking her up?"

"No," he responded, averting his eyes, "She wanted to find her own way to the party. Something about people talking and assuming things…"

"Ah," Cece said, nodding slightly, "Well, if she's as smart as you say she is, and she better be if she got into Yale, she'll realize what's in front of her."

"Cece, we're just friends…" Eli tried.

"Uh-huh. That's why you're always with her when you're not at the station with your father?" Eli could only smirk as he played with his rings. Their meetings had been getting more and more frequent, the subjects of conversations expanding beyond their shared grief. Every time they parted or Holly J left his room, he couldn't help but wish she would stay. It wasn't even a physical need driving him, although he would be lying if he said that he hadn't thought of her in that way. To him, his bed just seemed far too big without her, his room too dark.

"Don't be stupid. No drinking and driving. If you get laid, use protection. And if you get arrested, we're not bailing your ass out," Bullfrog said as he messed up Eli's hair, much to his dismay. He ran into the nearest bathroom to perfect the swoop again, cursing under his breath.

"Have a good time tonight," Cece called from the hallway. Eli sighed and exited the bathroom, taking his keys out of his pocket and walking out the front door, getting into Morty.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Eli pulled up the long driveway, looking around at the perfectly manicured lawn, the enormous clubhouse looming. So, this is what a country club looked like. The front steps were flanked by four tall columns, the ornate French doors in the middle of the front two, blending perfectly in with the light grey slate exterior. Even outside, everything looked very clean, his hearse being thrown into sharp contrast with its surroundings. A young man in a suit approached as Eli pulled the car around the front.

"Can I help you?" the man asked with a snotty air to his voice that Eli didn't appreciate at all.

"I don't think you can, but you can try," Eli threw back, "I'm here for the Sav Bhandari party." The man blinked pointedly, obviously being bothered that Eli was a guest.

"Ah, yes, of course," and the guy snapped twice to a person over by a podium, "You can leave your… _car_ here and the valet will park it." Eli gave the valet a once over and got out of Morty, keeping an eye on him.

"Not a dent on him…" Eli warned.

"Of course, sir," the valet agreed and got in, gingerly stepping on the gas and pulling the hearse around the back of the clubhouse.

"Right through these doors and it's the second door on your right. Follow the music," the first suited guy sneered and Eli just rolled his eyes, following his instructions. The second room on the right was already blasting Dead Hand. Eli pushed open the door and entered.

The ballroom itself was massive, it being big enough to fit his house in it, twice. It had been decorated with rich reds and purples with gold accents and they had attached red and purple fabric to the ceiling, coming out from the middle chandelier that hung over the dance floor, almost like a circus tent. One entire wall was a bar with actual bartenders working and there were waiters walking around with hors d'oeuvre trays. There were tables littered around the outside perimeter of the dance floor and the DJ was set up at the far end in front of a little stage the led to a balcony outside that overlooked a lake. This was quite possibly the fanciest party that Eli would ever attend, and it was only a high school graduation party.

"Eli, man, you made it!" Sav said as he walked over, the two shaking hands.

"Yeah. Dude, this place is insane," Eli responded.

"Yeah, my parents went a little over the top, but they say that you only turn 18 and graduate high school once, so I'm not complaining," Eli laughed, "So, uh, where's Holly J?"

"She's not here yet?" Eli asked. She was usually the prompt one, always waiting for him to get around to picking her up.

"No, man. I thought you were giving her a ride."

"She said she wanted to find her own way here when I offered." Eli was trying to not sound concerned, after all, it was still early and girls took too long to get ready. There weren't that many people here yet anyway.

"Well, whatever. We'll still have a pandemic night," Sav tried. Eli swallowed and smiled.

"Yeah, of course," and he followed Sav over to the bar.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

Eli spun his glass around in his hands, trying to resist the urge to text Holly J. It had been over an hour and she still hadn't shown. The sun was starting to set over the lake, making the water look like liquid gold. It was gorgeous but he just couldn't enjoy it. Alli had managed to get a few of her friends in, KC and Jenna showing up just after he did. He recognized Jenna from Clare's house before Vegas Night and apparently, she had heard the news about the break up, he overhearing her talking to Alli about it. Sav's other friends seemed pretty cool. He had talked with Peter for a bit about music and Drew and Bianca were making their rounds. But, if Holly J didn't show up soon, Eli was just going to call it a night and go home.

"Hey, sorry. I had to wait until my mom got home from work so she could give me a ride," Holly J's voice came. Eli turned to face her as she walked towards him. She had chosen a tight, white, one shoulder dress with white glitter heels, the shoulder having silver glitter accents to match her rhinestone accessories. She had left her hair down, just giving the ends a bit of curl and ruby red lips to complete the look. Eli could only stare, his mind going completely blank for the first time in years. "You look handsome," she said with a smile as she joined him at the railing. He looked handsome? Eli felt like a bum compared to her.

"You look…" he started, his voicing coming out higher than normal. He cleared his through and swallowed, Holly J giggling a little. It was embarrassing, being this flustered in front of a girl.

"Wow, speechless. I guess I did pretty good then," she laughed. Eli didn't even know what to say. Holly J simply looked gorgeous. He had always thought that she was pretty, but combined with their growing connection and Eli couldn't help himself. He couldn't take his eyes off of her. "Come on, let's go in and be social." Eli nodded and offered his arm, Holly J linking her own with his.

Holly J smiled to herself as they walked back into the ballroom, satisfied with his reaction. All day she had been worried that the outfit was going to be too much, not being sure how fancy this party was supposed to be. Eli cleaned up amazingly well, not that she didn't think he could. For dressing almost exclusively in black and skinny jeans, he always had a bit of a flare for style. It was nice to see him in some color, the red jacket being a nice touch when the rest of the guys went for black.

"Holly J, you made it!" Sav called, making his way over to them, "Good thing too. I've never seen the guy so worried," and he gestured to Eli, who only threw a sarcastic smirk his way.

"Yeah, of course I was still coming. I wouldn't miss it for the world. Thanks again for letting me come," Holly J responded, letting her arm drop to her side.

"Hey, it's no problem… We're cool," Sav said with a little smile. Holly J only smiled back, nodding a little. It felt good that they could just let the past be the past and be mature about it all, "Hey, did you see who's here?"

"No, who?"

"Jane." Holly J's eyes got wide, the excitement immediately building up in her.

"Jane's here? Where?" Sav turned his head a bit and pointed.

"Over there, talking to Peter." Holly J took Eli by the hand and waved to Sav, weaving her way through the tables.

"So, who's Jane?" Eli couldn't help but ask.

"She was my best friend last year. I think you'll really like her. She was the lead singer in Sav's band until her and Spinner broke up and she went off to University at Stanford with a full ride," Holly J answered with excitement. Eli could only nod as he tried to keep up. "Jane Vaughn?" The girl turned to Holly J's voice and her eyes got equally as big, her mouth opening in surprise.

"Holly J Sinclair!" and the two girls squealed and hugged, leaving Peter and Eli to stand back and witness. The two guys could only look at each other, fearful for their lives if they came in between the girls.

"How have you been? How's school? Are you home for the summer or what?" Holly J spilled out as they separated.

"I've been good, you know, going to class, working and I'm in a new band that's pretty big around campus. It's been really fantastic. I'm only home for the week and then I have to go back, but you seriously need to come visit. Maybe over your fall break from Yale, I hear," Jane recounted.

"Yeah, I'm going to Yale in the fall. I'm pretty excited. A little nervous, but you know…"

"Sorry to interrupt, but we're going to go get some drinks. You ladies want anything?" Eli asked.

"Oh! Sorry, Jane, this is Eli. Eli, Jane. Um, and sure, I'll take a coke or something," Holly J introduced.

"Nice to meet you, Eli," Jane said as she flashed him a smile. Eli nodded and smiled back, turning from the girls and disappearing with Peter, "So, Declan…" she said softly. Holly J's smiled slipped slightly. This was the part she was dreading. She had been hoping that since most everybody already knew at this point that those who didn't would just let it go, "You look like you're dealing well."

"It's been an odd month. Eli's been helping a bit."

"Oh, really?" and Jane raised and eyebrow suggestively, "Some… sexual healing, perhaps?"

"What? No, not at all," Holly J threw back in defense, "We've been… talking. He knows what I'm going through. It's been nice."

"So you're telling me that Holly J Sinclair hasn't hooked up with that yet? I have to say, I'm a little disappointed. He works that guyliner well," and she gestured towards Eli, "He obviously likes you."

"Shut up."

"No, he does. I saw you guys come in from the balcony. He didn't take his eyes off of you and when you were talking to Sav, he didn't look too thrilled."

"Jane, we're just friends."

"What about you? When you got here, did you find Sav first to wish him a happy birthday or did you go and look for Eli?" Holly J steadied herself and took a breath; obviously not liking the turn the conversation had taken.

"So, we're mildly attracted to each other. So what? He's a guy, I'm a girl, and it's human nature. The rest of it… it's complicated." To Holly J, there were so many factors standing in the way of anything for them. It was hard to say what exactly was going on and she didn't want to scare him off by trying to define it. She didn't want to admit it, but she couldn't lose him.

"A jack and coke for Jane," Peter said as he walked over and handed the drink to her.

"And just a coke for you," and Eli followed suit, "You ladies find something interesting to talk about?" Holly J immediately took a long sip from her drink, trying to avoid his question.

"Always," Jane said.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

As the night went on, the party came alive, Sav being unable to resist telling the DJ how to do his job and playing all the songs to get the dance floor going. Holly J and Eli mingled, talking a bit with old friends and meeting new ones. Every so often, Bianca would drag Drew out onto the floor and Eli could only laugh, being sure to send pictures to Adam for blackmail purposes.

The DJ finally kicked Sav out of his booth and mixed into a slow song. People began to pair off and the couples made their way onto the floor. The light reflected off the disco ball, scattering dots everywhere as the lights got dim. Holly J made a face, a little confused at the choice.

"Why play something slow? This is a birthday party, not prom…" she said to no one in particular, although Eli nodded. He watched as Jenna and KC swayed to the beat, enjoying their time together. "It's not like it's even a good song," Holly J continued. Last time she had slow danced was at Adam's secret party with Sav, and she really didn't want him getting any ideas that that was going to happen again. "Um, I'm going to get a drink. Do you want something?" Eli just shook his head and Holly J smiled weakly, excusing herself to go to the bar.

Eli sat down at a nearby table and sighed, running a hand through his hair. He wanted to ask her to dance but, given her comments, she wouldn't be up for it. It shouldn't be this hard. Holly J was only a girl and it was only a dance. But, things between them were…delicate. It was still a little hard to say what was going on. They were too close to be just friends but they also weren't together. One wrong move and everything could fall apart, and Eli couldn't risk it on a bad song. He watched her at the bar; being the only thing he could see in the dim light. She was gorgeous, in every sense of the word. She was effortless with everyone tonight, being as social and welcoming as ever. She was in her element, talking and making connections, introducing people and keeping conversations going. Eli looked down at his hands, spinning a ring nervously. He could never be like that, be so open to everyone. Holly J deserved someone like that, someone who could keep up with her, an equal.

Holly J came back and sat at the table, the pair falling silent once again. She nervously took sips from her drink just to do something. The first song ended and a soft guitar melody came over the dance floor, Holly J visibly perking up. Eli turned and watched her as a small smile made it's way onto her lips.

"Do you… want to dance?" he asked slowly, taking a chance that her opinion had changed. Holly J met his gaze, a little taken back by his suggestion, but flattered all the same. He didn't seem like the type to want to dance, giving absolutely zero indication that he was enjoying the music.

"Yeah, sure," she answered lightly and he smiled, standing up and offering his hand to her. She took it and stood from her seat, the pair walking hand in hand to the dance floor. He brought her around to face him and placed his other hand on the small of her back, bringing her closer to him. Holly J swallowed and rested her hand on his shoulder, the pair finding the beat pretty easily.

_Still a little bit of your taste in my mouth  
>Still a little bit of you laced with my doubt<br>Still a little hard to say what's going on_

_Still a little bit of your ghost you witness  
>Still a little bit of your face I haven't kissed<br>You step a little closer each day  
>That I can't say what's going on<em>

Holly J met his gaze and sighed lightly, letting a small smile through. This felt right. This felt like the only place in the world she was supposed to be, in his arms.

"Thank you for inviting me," she softly whispered, "I'm having a really good time." Eli looked down and smiled to himself.

"So am I."

_Stones taught me to fly  
>Love taught me to lie<br>Life taught me to die  
>So it's not hard to fall<br>When you float like a cannonball_

Holly J pulled him a little closer to her, resting her head on his shoulder and letting her eyes close. Eli could only smirk. In this moment, he was happier than he had been in a long time.

_Still a little bit of your song in my ear  
>Still a little bit of your words I long to hear<br>You step a little closer to me  
>So close that I can't see what's going on<em>

He swallowed hard and took a breath, leaning down close to her ear, the words finally coming that wouldn't before.

"You're beautiful, Holly J."

Not 'That dress looks beautiful on you' or any other lines about her appearance. 'You're beautiful,' an all-encompassing statement. She was. Everything about her, everything that Eli had learned and discovered about her was beautiful, even her little flaws. His lips at her ear, whispering those words sent a spark up her spine and her heart started to beat faster. It had been so long since anyone had told her that and didn't want something from her in return. She knew that with Eli though, it was genuine.

_Stones taught me to fly  
>Love taught me to lie<br>Life taught me to die  
>So it's not hard to fall<br>When you float like a cannon_

_Stones taught me to fly  
>Love taught me to cry<br>So come on courage!  
>Teach me to be shy<em>

And she lifted her head from his shoulder, meeting his gaze once again.

_'Cause it's not hard to fall  
>And I don't wanna scare her<em>

Eli stopped their swaying but didn't remove his hands from her body, hesitating, fighting with himself.

_It's not hard to fall  
>And I don't wanna lose<em>

Holly J let her eyes linger on his lips, the moment trying to get the best of her.

_It's not hard to grow  
>When you know that you just don't know<em>

Eli gripped her a little tighter and she leaned her head in as the guitar faded out. He broke their gaze only to flick down to her own lips, wanting so badly to close the gap between them and kiss her. He swallowed and leaned in, brushing his lips softly against hers, her shallow breaths tickling them. They were millimeters away from each other and Holly J softly closed her eyes, feeling the heat from his skin and smelling his cologne. Eli took a breath and tilted his head slightly, wanting to give into temptation.

The lights came back up and the bass kicked in, the dance floor flooding with guests again. Eli and Holly J separated, letting the cool air in between them, goosebumps forming along her chest. Holly J took a couple of deep breaths to calm herself and Eli's eyes immediately went for the floor, not daring to take a look at her. They just got caught up in the moment, that was it. They were just friends.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: See you next week...**


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: As much as I love Intellectual Property law, I don't think I could defend myself in court. Please don't sue.

* * *

><p>Even over the music, Holly J's footsteps as she walked from the dance floor were the loudest thing in Eli's ears.<p>

"Holly J, wait!" he called after her, following her out onto the balcony, "Holly J…" The girl leaned her forearms on the railing, staring out over the lake. The stars reflected in the calm water, mimicking the lights from the disco ball. She was so confused with everything. There was an attraction between them, obviously, but he and Clare just broke up. She was leaving in August. Nothing could happen between them.

"Like I told Jane, it's human nature. You're a guy, I'm a girl, and it was just a matter of time…" Eli watched as a thousand thoughts ran through her brain, making reading her difficult. He wanted this. He wanted her. To him, nothing else mattered as long as she was with him, but he also knew that Holly J was logical and practical and had a reputation to uphold.

"Let's just… forget about it," he said lightly, trying to ease her mind. It wasn't what he wanted, but he would deal. He was used to it.

"Really?" she asked as she looked up, meeting his gaze. She could see the hurt behind his eyes and it killed her inside. The new dress, coming to the party, it was all for him. Holly J wanted him so badly, but now that she was on the verge of getting him, it terrified her.

"Yeah. We just got caught up in the moment…." He didn't believe that for one minute, but he couldn't read her mind. He just wanted to know how she really felt about him.

"These things happen. It's biology. It doesn't mean…" and Eli reached out to gently move the stray few hairs from in front of her face, tucking them behind her ear. His hand lingered on her neck, his thumb lightly tracing her jawline. He couldn't help himself. Logic didn't matter right now and neither did reputations. Holly J took a breath, a little caught off guard by the intimacy but not shying away. He took a step closer, cupping her face in his hand but never breaking their gaze. He brought his lips inches from hers, being able to feel her breath.

"Holly J, do you want me to kiss you?"

After a moment, she nodded softly, "Yes." Eli smirked as he leaned down to meet her lips.

"What are you two…?" Jenna's voice broke the darkness. The two separated just as quickly as they came together, Holly J cursing under her breath and pulling a hand through her hair, "…Am I interrupting something?"

"What do you want, Jenna?" Eli snapped a little harshly for barely knowing anything about the girl. All she did was roll her eyes.

"Sav is looking for you guys. Spinner is having people over at his loft for an after-party since he couldn't make it and wants to know if you're interested. That is, unless you guys have something better to do…" she scoffed and she turned on her heel, going back into the emptying party. Holly J just leaned back against the railing, clearly unhappy that Jenna interrupted them. She sighed, shaking her head a little. It just wasn't going to happen.

"Do you want to go to Spin's party?" she asked, looking over at him. It was Eli's turn to lean his forearms against the railing, looking out over the lake and wondering what the hell was going on. He had no idea who this Spinner was, who Jane is, who this whole cast of people were that were a part of Holly J's life before they met.

"They're your friends. I don't really know them…"

"Sav's your friend too. And you and Peter seemed to get along. I think you'd like Spinner, he runs The Dot."

"Do you want to go?" he asked as he looked over to her.

"Well, I don't want the night to end…" she said slowly, smiling a little. Eli smirked to her, nodding to himself. He didn't want his time with her to end.

"Party it is."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

This party was much more exclusive, only a select few from the main bash making it. KC and Jenna explained that they needed to get back to the baby and Jane just flat out refused to see Spin. Holly J talked a bit with Bianca on the couch as the boys conversed about music and things in the kitchen, Eli making every effort to fit in with Holly J's friends. He found it wasn't as hard as he thought, Spinner being a lot like Sav. Holly J was proud of him. It really meant a lot that he would do this for her.

"I could really do with another drink," Bianca excused herself as she stood from the couch, stepping over Holly J, "That is, if the boys stop hogging it all,"

"It's the dude's birthday, of course he's going to hog it all," Spin joked, nodding to Sav who was already four drinks into his bottle of vodka that Spinner got for him.

"I'm sharing, I'm sharing. Sharing is caring," Sav said, only slightly stumbling over his words, "Go. Whoever wants some. Have at it. Eli, have a drink with me."

"No, thank you. Driving, remember?" Eli explained with a bit of a laugh. Holly J just smiled at the scene; a slightly buzzed Sav in Spinner's loft trying to get Eli to drink. If you had told her at the beginning of the summer that she would be witnessing this, she would have said that you're insane. If you had said that she would become good friends with the kid with the hearse, she wouldn't have believed you. Then again, stranger things had happened, like Spin marrying Emma Nelson.

"Holly J? Do you want anything?" Eli broke though, pouring himself more soda.

"Um, yeah. I'll take some of that vodka that Sav wants to share and some orange juice, if you have it." Eli raised an eyebrow at her but let a small smirk crawl across his lips.

"Miss Sinclair, I thought I knew everything…" he said softly as he mixed her drink. Sav choked back a laugh.

"Everything? About Holly J? No, man, no way."

"What do you mean?" Eli asked as he brought her drink over to her, taking a seat on the couch.

"Eli, dude, you're so lucky you didn't know her before…" Peter said. Holly J just rolled her eyes, taking a sip of her drink.

"Oh, really? Why is that?" Eli mused, looking over at her and smirking.

"She was scary," Sav continued.

"I was not!" the girl defended, "I was determined. I still am."

"You were scary. I've never seen so many people just cower away in fear," Spinner joked.

"There was an 'I Hate Holly J' club for a reason," Peter pointed out. Holly J didn't like the direction the conversation had gone at all.

"Really? Where do I sign up?" Eli laughed a little. She shoved his shoulder a little harder than she intended, frowning slightly.

"It's not funny. Everyone really hated me. I got death threats," she quietly told him. Eli's smile slipped, seeing how hurt she was.

"Alli got in so much trouble for it, but not half as much trouble when my parents saw her file after Vegas Night." Sav reminisced, "That… was a fun night."

"The cops being called? My mom going ballistic? Some guy having a knife? Yeah, that's my idea of a fun night too," Drew lamented. Eli swallowed and looked down at his drink. He would rather forget that night all together. No one here knew that the knife was intended for him and he planned to keep it that way.

"Well, no, not that stuff. But Holly J and I had some fun…"

"Sav, you're drunk." She interrupted.

"I am not. I am only buzzed," he defended, "And it was fun. Stripping and making out in the theater? Bet Eli wishes he could've seen that." The loft went silent. Eli nearly choked on his drink and Holly J could only close her eyes in embarrassment. Eli wondered if they really were that obvious, if he was that transparent. This wasn't his bedroom; they weren't at the statue. They were in public, they were constantly being observed, and Holly J was right: people were assuming things.

"And Sav's cut off," Spinner said to break the tension, taking the bottle from the counter.

"…stripping?" Eli asked quietly after a moment. Holly J looked over at him, a little surprised by his indignation. He didn't know why it annoyed him that she had stripped for Sav, after all; at that point, Holly J Sinclair was just the chick that did the morning announcements. It was a side of her that he had never seen before and he had thought that he knew her best. This whole night, though, had just proved how little Eli really knew.

"It wasn't like real stripping. Fi gave me this corset and skirt to wear and, well, I turned it into a bit of a show." Eli visibly perked up, swallowing hard.

"Corset?"

"Oh, it was a show alright," Sav slurred, sitting on one of the barstools, "She put on some song and wore a feather thing…"

"It's called a boa," Holly J interrupted.

"And she whipped her hair and took off her skirt and…"

"Sav, you're drunk," Holly J started, getting a little annoyed with him. She didn't mind Eli knowing the details but Sav was just butchering it, making it sound like she pole danced or something, "If you're going to put a picture in their heads, at least make it accurate," and she took a long sip of her drink, standing up in front of Eli. He looked up at her, meeting her gaze and leaning forward to set his own drink on the table, his curiosity piqued.

"I had on a red coat over the outfit, a pair of long, black gloves, a boa, and my hair was up in a bun," she explained, turning away from him and miming taking off a coat. Holly J turned back to Eli with a small smile, untying the imaginary skirt from her waist and let the boa fall to the floor. Eli swallowed hard again, his imagination filling in, or rather taking away, anything that was missing. The loft suddenly felt much warmer and Eli couldn't help but notice how quiet it was, all eyes being glued to the woman who was sauntering towards him, her eyes never leaving his.

Holly J placed a light hand on Eli's shoulder, pulling him to the back of the couch as she stood behind him. He turned his head, trying not to lose sight of her, but she made him face forward, shaking her hair out a bit. He took a deep breath, relishing the feeling of her fingers moving through his hair, not even caring that it was being messed up. She smiled as she stepped in front of him again, giving a little smirk as she pretended to take off gloves. Holly J could tell that he was enjoying her little reenactment, even if this one didn't involve any stripping. She didn't even care that the others were watching. Eli's opinion was the only one that mattered.

Eli couldn't help but reach out, placing a hand on her hip as she maneuvered between his legs. He wanted to touch her, feel her body and make it known that she was his, at least in this moment. She reached out in kind, holding onto his forearms, moving to straddle his lap. Holly J's hands ghosted over his chest and up to his shoulders, letting herself get comfortable sitting in Eli's lap. He looked up, meeting her gaze and took a breath through parted lips, his brain buzzing but unable to think of anything to say.

"And that's the striptease," she said low enough so only he could hear, "Did you like it?" Her eyes flicked down to his lips, the intimacy of the moment starting to take her over.

"You have no idea…" Eli breathed, running his fingertips up and down her waist. He wanted to kiss her. He wanted to kiss her more than either of the other two opportunities tonight, but prying eyes surrounded them and she would never forgive him if he made a move. Something switched off in Holly J's brain and she took a deep breath, smiling down at him.

"Fuck it."

She leaned down and captured his lips in her own; every neuron in her brain firing at the same time, her very soul being set alight. The outside world fell away around them and the only thing Eli could hear was the softest of moans emanating from Holly J's throat. The feel of her soft lips on his own was completely intoxicating. He held her tighter, pulling her closer to him, needing to feel her in every way possible. He ran his tongue over her bottom lip and she opened her mouth a bit, deepening the kiss. His taste, his smell, his touch was being imprinted on her memory, every tiny detail being the most important thing in the world to her. Together, they were perfect.

"And that's when the cop came in and ruined everything," Sav said loudly, shattering their shared world. Slowly, Holly J pulled away, her blue eyes crashing into Eli's green, sending a shock up her spine. Her heart was racing. Eli let a small chuckle out, a smirk playing on his lips. He had no intention of letting her go.

"Damn, I would have liked to see that too," Drew said and Bianca smacked his arm.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Reviews are the most amazing things. Thanks for reading!**


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: If Degrassi were mine, the seniors wouldn't be graduating and this would have actually happened.

* * *

><p>Fiona Coyne sat on the couch in her living room next to her boyfriend. He was already reading the latest issue of <em>The Goon<em> that they _had_ to go get that day, so she opened up her laptop to catch up on the world. She navigated the pages with mild interest, not really caring about anyone from Vanderbilt or the ski trip a bunch of them took last week. However, a link did catch her eye:

Holly J Sinclair was tagged in Jenna Middleton's album "Bhandari Birthday!"

"Since when is Holly J friends with Sav again?" Fi wondered out loud. Adam could only shrug, not really caring whom Holly J was friends with. Fiona clicked on the first picture, her curiosity getting the best of her. It was just a crowd shot showing the venue, the people in it not even being aware that a photo was being taken. That's how most of the pictures were, a few were posed and everyone had smiley, happy faces. Fi nodded to herself, approving of Holly J's fashion choice for the evening. It looked fun, almost as much fun as the Spring Gala at the Met. Clicking again to change the picture on the screen, she stopped and her mouth opened slightly, her eyes wide.

"SCANDAL!" she exclaimed out loud, making Adam jump.

"What?" he asked, annoyed that he couldn't just read his comic in peace. Fi turned the screen towards him and pointed.

"Why didn't you tell me they were together?" she accused. Adam studied the picture. Holly J and some guy, who appeared to be Eli from the red jacket and dark hair, were dancing together, her head on his shoulder and his face obscured by her hair. The caption read, "Those two seemed to be getting very close…" Adam looked back up at Fiona, shrugging a little.

"I didn't know. Eli's my friend, but it's not like we talk every day. Why didn't she tell you?" he reasoned. Adam didn't really care as long as Eli was happy. He had heard about the break up, both Eli and Clare calling him within five minutes of them hanging up with each other. He had to admit though, Holly J? That came out of nowhere. She looked really pretty in that picture though, so if Eli really was with her… well then, good job, Eli.

"That's a good question. I intend to find out," and Fiona was on her phone, tapping Holly J's name in her contact list. Adam just went back to his comic, more concerned with the drama on the page than the drama his girlfriend was currently trying to create.

"Fi! Hey! How are you?" Holly J's voice came from the small speaker, "Good timing, I just got home from work."

"Since when are you and Eli Goldsworthy a… _a thing_?" Fi spat out indignantly, unable to believe that her best friend would keep something this huge from her. Holly J pinched the bridge of her nose and sat on her bed, wondering how the hell Fi heard anything about them.

"We're not… why? Did someone say something or…?

"There's a picture of you two dancing on FaceRange. Holly J, my brother just passed away…" Those words felt like an ice pick through Holly J's heart. Eli was in no way supposed to be a replacement for Declan.

"That's not fair, Fiona. You know Declan will always be special to me, but he and I broke up over eight months ago. And Eli's been… helping me deal with everything. He understands."

"Helping you deal with everything? How?" Fi asked. Adam's phone buzzed in the pocket of his jeans and he fished it out, setting his comic on the coffee table. There was just no way he was going to get to read it until he went to bed tonight.

"Hello?" he asked.

"Hey, dude. Did you get the new issue of _The Goon_ yet?" Eli's voice came from the other end. Adam looked over at Fi and turned away from her slightly, trying to keep his conversation private.

"Yeah, of course, but I haven't really had time to read it yet."

"That sucks. So, how's New York been?"

"It's pretty cool. We went up to the Hamptons for the Fourth of July. Some friends of Fi's mom were having a barbeque and there were fireworks. Americans really like showing how much they love their country by trying to blow up a small part of it. What have you been up to?"

"Not much. Working at the station a few times a week, hanging out with people sometimes. Went to Sav's birthday party, that was pretty good."

"Yeah… I saw some pictures on FaceRange. Fi's freaking out," Adam slowly said, trying to ease into the subject. He may not give a rat's ass who Eli chooses to be with, but if he didn't ask, Fi would kill him.

"Why is she freaking out?"

"You know, you and Holly J…" Eli rested his head on the back of the seat, tapping a finger on Morty's steering wheel. Fi turned at the mention of her friend's name and mouthed "Eli?" to Adam, who nodded in return.

"Me and Holly J what?" Eli played dumb. He didn't know what Adam knew about them, but he would rather only give just the bare bones of details. To be honest, Eli didn't even know what was going on anymore. He didn't care what people thought of them, but he knew that Holly J would.

"Well, I'm happy that you have someone there to support you. I was worried when you said that you couldn't come to New York with me," Fi explained, "Just be careful, Holly J. We don't need another rebound situation." Holly J fell silent at that. She really cared about Eli, but he and Clare just ended things. She didn't want to be a rebound. He had hesitated to kiss her, and maybe it was for a reason.

"She sat in your lap and you made out?" Adam repeated a little too loudly.

"Excuse me?" Fi said, more to Holly J than to Adam, "Withholding vital information!"

"Excuse you what? Was that Adam? Who is he talking to?" Holly J asked, slightly confused as to what was going on.

"Yeah," Eli responded to Adam's outburst.

"Are you cool with that?"

"Yeah. It was fun."

"So, are you guys together now? Have you even talked to her since?"

"No, I don't think so. Adam…"

"Please don't tell me Julia is messing you up again. Eli, you can't keep doing this to girls, getting close and then pushing them away." Adam didn't want another repeat of Clare. He really didn't need for Fi and himself to get stuck in the middle of this.

"Who's Julia?" Fiona asked, almost completely ignoring the phone pressed to her ear.

"Why are you asking about Julia? Fi, is Adam talking to Eli while you're talking to me?" Holly J said, getting annoyed that her private conversation with her best friend was no longer private.

"What? No. So, was the kiss good?" Fi tried to cover.

"Fiona Celestine Arabella Coyne, call me back when you can talk privately," and Holly J hung up. Fi frowned at the phone but just shrugged a little, setting it on the coffee table and turning her attention to Adam's conversation.

"No, dude, she knows about Julia and the whole Clare situation," Eli continued. He didn't want to rush things with Holly J and force her into anything. Until she gave other indication, he was treating the kiss as a fluke, just something that happened in the moment.

"A fairly attractive redhead knows about your past, hasn't run away, even kissed you and you enjoyed it. Why are you talking to me and not to her so you can figure this stuff out?"

"She's home from work," Fiona offered.

"I called you to talk about comic books, not get girl advice," Eli threw back. He knew that he needed to talk to Holly J and he honestly wasn't trying to avoid her, but she hadn't tried to get in contact with him either in the days following Sav's party.

"Fi says she's home now. Go talk to her," Adam commanded. Eli rolled his eyes and clicked the phone shut. He shook his head to himself, sighing. He had no excuses anymore.

"I hope she's not too pissed," and he turned the key in the ignition, bringing the hearse to life.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Best friends are so helpful sometimes, aren't they? Thanks to all my readers! I love watching the stats for this story and how so many people read it every Friday. You know what I love even more though? When my email goes "ding" and it's a new review! I wish you guys could see how ridiculously happy reviews make me. A special thanks to ToastMania, Rochelle, Steff, Lyssa, and Necklace890 for all being wonderful and amazing people, as well as loyal readers. See you next week!**


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: Spending all my money on Muse this weekend. If you sue me, you might as well sue them.

* * *

><p>He had to get rid of it. He had to give it back, and if he couldn't give it back to her, then he would have to do the next best thing. He rushed back into his house and ran up to his room, not even saying hi to Cece. It was on his desk, next to his computer, where it had always been since they cleaned his room. Clare's father's watch.<p>

Eli went back out to his hearse and drove to the apartment complex that he had come to know so well. He parked in his usual spot and climbed out, gripping the piece of jewelry tightly. It was the last piece of her that remained, he taking out the earring weeks ago. Eli walked up to the door and rang the doorbell.

"Eli. To what do I owe this visit?" Mr. Edwards greeted.

"Hi, Mr. Edwards," Eli replied with a small smile, "Clare gave this to me and I think it's time that I returned it," and he held out the watch. The man reached out and took it lightly, examining it.

"She gave you my watch?" Eli nodded.

"When we first started dating. Now that we aren't, I think she should have it back." Mr. Edwards looked up, meeting Eli's gaze and nodded in understanding.

"I'll make sure she gets it. Thank you." Eli smiled lightly and turned from the door, walking even further into the complex.

xxxxxxxxxxx

Three days. Three whole days. 72 hours since that night and Holly J's phone hasn't rung, hasn't lit up with a text from him. She knew it. She had told herself that it couldn't happen, that if it turned physical it would only push him away but did she listen? No, because Holly J Sinclair gives great advice, but seldom ever follows it.

She changed from her work uniform to a pair of yoga pants and a tank top, her plan for the rest of the day to watch _Legally Blonde_ and eat cookies. She didn't want to even try to be social right now. Those pictures on FaceRange really just made her want to crawl into a hole and die. Everyone saw them. There was no denying the chemistry between them anymore. They could only go in two directions, and it seemed like Eli had chosen the path that Holly J was afraid of. This rejection was going to be on a public scale, and it's all because of that damn party. She sighed and left her room, walking down the stairs and into the kitchen where her mom sat. There was a light knock at the front door and Holly J glanced at it momentarily and shrugged, grabbing the cookies from the pantry. Her mother stood up and answered it.

"Hi, Mrs. Sinclair, I'm Eli, a friend of Holly J's. Is she here?" his voice drifted into the kitchen. Holly J was halfway through her first cookie already, the rest of it hanging idly out of her mouth. He was here, introducing himself to her mother. Her mother that didn't even know he existed.

"Holly J, there's an…Eli at the door?" her mother questioned. Holly J threw the cookies back in the pantry and swallowed what she had in her mouth as he stepped through the door and into the living room, his hands in his back pockets, a small smirk on his face at the sight of her. Her mother stood behind him, giving Holly J a look of, "And who is this?"

"Hey, Eli. Why don't we go up to my room and talk…" Holly J said with a nervous smile, taking his hand and leading him up the stairs.

"Door open, young lady," her mom called after them and Eli chuckled, Holly J's cheeks turning slightly pink. She led him into her room, closing the door halfway behind him and dropping his hand. She suddenly felt very self-conscious about her choice of clothing, he looking as handsome as always in his dark grey skinny jeans, a black dress shirt, and a black vest. Last time he had seen her, she was at her best, and now…?

"Hi," was all he said as he looked her up and down. She was haggard, but in a good way. Her hair wasn't perfect, the pigtails hanging loosely from hours at work, and her makeup wasn't all done up. She was herself with no shields up, and she was beautiful.

"Hi," she responded in kind, sitting on the edge of her bed. Eli took a few steps towards her, going for the bed also, but he decided to sit in the chair at her desk instead. He had never been in her room before, the light blue walls playing off the purple of her comforter nicely. Her various awards and certificates were scattered around, pictures of Anya and Fiona mixed in. She had a picture of her and Declan in a frame by her bed, the program from his funeral right next to it, a small, but appropriate tribute. He noted how there weren't any of Sav in sight.

"How are you?" he asked. She knew he was just making small talk, setting up for an explanation as to why they hadn't talked in three days.

"I've been busy. Working every day. Barely have time to get on FaceRange…" she offered, hoping to ease into why he was really here.

"Yeah, me too," he said, looking at the carpet and twisting the ring on his thumb, "So, uh, about Sav's party…"

"Yeah, we should probably talk about that." Eli swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat and forced himself to meet her eyes. He was suddenly very nervous, more nervous than he had ever been around her before. He took a deep breath as she waited patiently for him to start speaking.

"Holly J… I like you. I like you a lot," he started, cursing at himself in his head. For someone who usually prided himself on his ability to choose the perfect words, right now he was stumbling over them, "These past few weeks with you have been amazing and…" Eli took a moment to gather his thoughts, to remember why he was there in the first place, "I can't believe how happy you make me. When I'm around you, all I can think about is how I don't want our time to end, how I want to be around you all the time, how I want to be with you. You're smart, and beautiful, and so nice and caring and I refuse to believe that anyone ever hated you. And I know it's crazy and I know that you're worried about your friends and what people think but…"

"Eli," Holly J softly interrupted, her eyes shining with unfallen tears, "I'm not scared of what people will think. If I was, I wouldn't have kissed you, gone to the party, anything. That party… that was my way of telling them that you… you're in my life now." Eli couldn't help but let a small smile play on his lips, relieved that she wasn't afraid of what anyone would think, "But…"

But. Three letters that shattered worlds, the only word that could make his smile slip.

"But?" Holly J took a breath, blinking back her tears from his earlier comments. She had to be strong, which was difficult with Fiona's comment bouncing around her brain.

"But… Clare."

"Clare."

It wasn't a question. It wasn't really even a statement. It was just a name, a name that had fallen from his lips so many times before. A name that Holly J knew all too well, and not for the best reasons.

"Holly J, Clare's out of my life," Eli laid out quietly. He was hunched forward in the chair, his elbows on his knees and his fingers playing with his rings. His eyes though, his eyes were locked on hers, unwavering.

"You two just broke up. I don't want to be a rebound…"

"You're not a rebound, you could never be a rebound," his voice straining a bit, trying to make Holly J understand, "How can I prove to you that I'm done with her?" and Eli stood up, moving over to sit on the bed with her. Holly J could only shrug lightly. She didn't want to make him "prove" that he was over Clare. She wasn't trying to be hurtful or anything; it was just her logic. It was too soon since they broke up. She was only trying to protect herself. Eli cupped her hands in his, running his thumbs lightly over her own, and met her gaze, "Before I came here, I stopped at Clare's dad's apartment. She had given me his watch when we first started dating, months ago. It sat on my desk at home, never moving, time standing still on its face. That's how I wanted things to be with her; I wanted every moment to last forever, not knowing that staying in the same place can be hell. I gave the watch back to him today, no hesitation, no regrets."

Holly J searched his face for a tell, for any indication that he was lying to her. She trusted him, of course, but she had to be sure. She found nothing, his eyes staying on hers, letting himself be laid open. She broke their gaze and lightly closed her eyes, a small tear running down her cheek, Eli's expression changing in an instant.

"Don't cry, please don't cry," he whispered as he leaned his head in, pressing his forehead to her own. Eli lightly kissed her cheek, disrupting the path her tears were cutting across her skin. His hand moved up and tangled itself in her hair, "Holly J, I want to be with you. Please…" he begged against her lips. Just hearing him, feeling him there, in that moment, with her was enough. She smiled and nodded and before she knew it, his lips were on hers. He was slow, tender and he tasted a little salty from her own tears. For the first time in a long time for both of them, everything felt right. This kiss wasn't to impress anyone. This kiss was for them.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Fluffy fluff fluff. Tell me what you think because I think I'm kind of crap at writing fluff. To everyone who said that the last chapter felt like a movie or an episode or something along those lines, I'll tell you why: I have a degree in Film and I've had to write many a script, so I imagined it to be an episode while writing it. Anyway, thanks again to ToastMania, Rochelle, Steff, and Kasia for their lovely support and thank you to all my readers and especially the reviewers!**


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: Come at me, bro. Oh god, please don't.

* * *

><p>She tasted like chocolate chip cookies. He smelled like the ocean. Her skin was warm from the anticipation. He felt dizzy from the small moan that escaped her lips, knowing that he was the one who did that to her. He was an expert in the art of the kiss. It wasn't just his lips; he put his whole body, his soul into it, making it impossible to mistake how he felt. It was only a kiss and yet, it felt like so much more, something more special than either of them could put a finger on. Time seemed to stop… and then he did, his breathing ragged, pressing his forehead to hers and his hands to either side of her flushed face.<p>

"Holly J, you're mom is probably wondering why it got so quiet all of the sudden up here," Eli stated between breaths. Holly J pressed her lips to his again, not quite being finished.

"Let her," the girl whispered, those tiny words sending a shiver up Eli's spine. His body was screaming at him to keep going, that Holly J had experience, but he wouldn't pressure her into anything. However, his mind was pulling him further and further from her room, knowing that her mom was just downstairs.

"I should go…" he said as he pulled away slightly to look her in the eye.

"But I don't want you to. I'm not done…" she pouted. He smirked at her, loving the fact that she wanted him to stay so badly.

"And how far exactly were you going to let me go tonight, Miss Sinclair?" he teased. Holly J rolled her eyes at him, smoothing her hair, "What are you doing tomorrow night?"

"I have work,"

"The next night?"

"I'm free.

"Good. It's a date then," and he smirked.

"Oh, a date, really?" she teased.

"Yeah, unless you don't want to date me and you just want to make out…"

"Well, if you insist," and she leaned over, pressing her lips to his again. Holly J knew she was being a bit silly, but after a month of doing nothing but talking, she wanted to really express how she felt, physically.

"I do insist. I want to take you on a date. A proper, real date," he murmured against her lips. She pulled back and smiled.

"You're really serious about this, aren't you?" Eli furrowed his eyebrows at her, a little confused at her hesitation.

"Of course I am. Why wouldn't I be? You are my girlfriend and all…"

"Girlfriend," Holly J repeated, getting comfortable with the thought of being someone's girlfriend again, "I like the sound of that."

"Holly J, I don't hear much talking in there," her mother called up the stairs. Eli chuckled slightly, shaking his head.

"I told you she was starting to wonder," Eli said, standing from the bed and offering a hand to help Holly J up. She took it and he pulled her into a tight embrace, her soft curves conforming to his toned form. She sighed lightly into his neck. This was all she wanted for the rest of her life. She was warm, and safe, and wanted. "Holly J, I can't even express to you how happy you've made me since we met," he quietly confessed. She pulled back from his shoulder, meeting his gaze and smiled lightly.

"Me too." Eli returned her smile and quickly pressed a peck to her cheek. She turned herself around, led him out of her room and down the stairs to her front door. Her mom stood from her place at the kitchen table and walked over, surveying Eli.

"I don't think we've met. I'm Holly J's mom," and she offered a hand. Eli took it with a strong grip and shook it politely.

"Nice to meet you, Mrs. Sinclair. I'm Eli Goldsworthy," he introduced with a smile.

"You too, Eli. Do you know Holly J from school?" Eli glanced over at Holly J, unsure of how to answer.

"I knew of her from student council events, of course, but we didn't formally meet until earlier this summer," He reached over and lightly took Holly J's hand in his, smiling to her, "I'm thankful that our paths crossed finally. Your daughter is very special to me." Mrs. Sinclair did not mirror the happiness on their faces.

"She's a good girl. Anyone would be lucky to meet her," and she turned, going back into the kitchen. Holly J's smile slipped, knowing that her mother obviously didn't like Eli. Eli just shook his head, wondering why the hell none of his girlfriend's parents approved of him.

"I'll text you when I get home. And I'll see your Thursday, around 6?" he asked, not dropping her hand. She leaned up and let a smile return to her lips.

"Can't wait," and he softly kissed her, not caring if her mom was watching. It ended and Holly J opened the door, seeing him out and watching until he disappeared around the corner.

"So, I'm assuming this Eli is a new friend?" her mom asked in a harsh tone. Holly J closed the front door and rolled her eyes as she made her way into the kitchen. Her mom wasn't going to make her feel bad about being with Eli. She liked him. She knew him better than anyone else and her mom just needed to see that he wasn't all doom and gloom.

"Boyfriend, to be exact," she threw back.

"Really," Mrs. Sinclair deadpanned, "How long have you even known him?"

"Long enough. Like he said, we met earlier this summer."

"So all those times when you said you were hanging out with Anya, you were with him? Holly J, how could you lie to us like that? I thought we raised you better than that."

"I lied to you because I knew you wouldn't understand!" Holly J defended, her voice raising, "I was with Anya some of those times…"

"Holly J, I've been your age. I know that the 'bad boy' is extremely appealing but you're only going to end up hurt."

"No, I won't. Eli is so much more than the 'bad boy' and he wouldn't hurt me. Underneath all the black is a really sweet and kind guy who just happened to have seen more of the bad in the world then other kids his age…"

"You have_ six weeks _until you leave for Yale and you are not giving that up for some guy with a bruised soul," Mrs. Sinclair interrupted. Holly J opened her mouth to retort but closed it just as quickly. Yale. She had been so worried about Clare and being a rebound that she had forgotten about Yale. He knew about her going away to school, she had told him about it, but now it just seemed so much more real. Eli may not hurt her, but Holly J feared she was going to hurt him.

"We'll deal with Yale when it gets to that point," Holly J responded quietly.

"You can have your fun for the rest of the summer, but mid-August, we're getting on that plane and you're going to school," her mom finished. Holly J sighed and took the stairs two at a time to her room again.

It was funny how not even ten minutes before, everything was so perfect and warm. Now, it was just a cold shell. She wanted him here. She wanted him to hold her while she complained about her mom and have him reassure her about University. He hadn't even texted yet that he was home and she already missed him. More and more these days, it seemed like Eli was the only one who really understood her.

Holly J sat down at her computer and opened it up, going to see exactly what Jenna had posted that caused Fiona to get whipped into a frenzy. She clicked through the pictures, each one calming her down a bit until she found the one of her and Eli dancing. Fiona had added the comment, "They look cute together." It was nice to know that her best friend supported her no matter what, even though Holly J, admittedly, hadn't been very upfront with her. She went back to her profile page and stared at it for a second. This was it. She clicked on a few links and made the subtlest, but biggest, of changes.

"Back home, beautiful. Miss me?" Eli popped up in a FaceRange chat.

"Of course. Mom tried to make me feel bad about being with you but I won't let her :(" Holly J responded.

"Parents just don't understand. If it's any consolation, my parents love you :)"

"Your parents also seem a lot cooler than mine. My mom didn't even really like Declan."

"Whoa. Then she probably hates me…"

"She'll deal. She doesn't know you."

":D"

Holly J smiled to herself and clicked around the site, checking in on her friends. Fi had posted some pictures of her and Adam in the Hamptons for the weekend and Sav was still going on about his party.

"Accepted. We are now FaceRange official :)" Eli typed. Holly J's feed refreshed and the top headline read:

Holly J Sinclair is in a relationship with Eli Goldsworthy.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Thanks again to all my readers and especially to ToastMania, Rochelle, Steff, Lyssa, and Kasia. I love you!**


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: I really should think of an original idea, shouldn't I?

* * *

><p>"You're certainly dressed up for a date," Mrs. Sinclair commented as she stood in Holly J's doorway.<p>

"That would be because I'm going on one," she replied, throwing a sarcastic look in the mirror as she applied her lip gloss. She had chosen a tight, knee-length, one shoulder black dress that was lace on the back, sliver star earrings, a few silver bangles, and blue peep toe pumps that were encrusted in iridescent silver sparkles. Simple black eyeliner and a rose tinted lip helped complete the look, as did the two little star hair pins she used to keep her messy French twist in place.

"Oh okay, miss smartass. This just came for you," and she handed her daughter a long, thin package. Holly J took it with a puzzled expression, carefully unwrapping it. It was a beautiful box with scenes of European landmarks all over it and indiscernible phrases. She opened the lid to reveal a small paint set with a handwritten note:

Rendez-vous à la station de Queens Quay

7 pm

"He wants me to meet him downtown, by the piers," she explained with a smug smile. She knew Eli had a flair for the dramatic, which is why he stayed in his bed for nearly 24 hours when he and Clare broke up, so she had no idea what to expect for their date, or why his note was in French.

"Oh, so no traditional 'pick you up at the front door and meet the parents' I guess."

"Hasn't he kind of already done that?" Holly J threw back with a smile. She was just so excited to actually go on a date, a real date, with someone who had become so special to her. Work was torture the day before, a six-hour shift feeling like 60. She wasn't scared or nervous… just happy. Her mother rolled her eyes.

"Midnight at the latest. You may be on summer break but I'm not going to have you running all over the city in the middle of the night," she said as she walked out of Holly J's room. The girl looked herself over in her mirror and could only smile.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

She had to admit, she felt kind of odd. Public transportation was not the usual way that a girl met up with her date. At least, not one that was wearing blue heels. Holly J managed to survive though and stepped off the bus at the requisite stop, Eli sitting on a bench near it. He stood and smiled when he saw her, clutching a red rose. He had gone with a new pair of black skinny jeans, a v-neck tee shirt, a black tie that hung loosely around his neck, and a longer black military jacket with gold accents.

"Wow," he said softly as she approached him, his complete and total admiration all over his face. She giggled a little as he handed her the rose.

"Is this what it's going to be like every time I dress up?" referencing how he was speechless as Sav's party. The blood crept up to his cheeks a little.

"Yes, that is, until the day you get all morbid and corpsified," he said with a smirk as he leaned in to kiss her. He took her hand in his and started walking down towards the piers.

"So, what exactly are we going to do on this date?"

"You let me worry about that. I have a few things planned that I hope you'll enjoy," he answered, leading them into a building lobby. They took the elevator up to the top floor, the doors opening to reveal a large, rather expensive looking restaurant. Eli nodded at the host and he took two menus from the desk, leading the two of them to a small table near the back, right next to the floor to ceiling windows that opened to the Toronto skyline.

"Toula? Eli, this place is really expensive…" Holly J worried as she sat down. She didn't want him to think that just because she had dated Declan that she expected every date to be on the Coyne level of taste.

"Don't worry about it," he said as he opened up the menu.

"I would have been fine with pizza and The Dot…"

"Holly J, don't worry about it. I've been working all summer and haven't had anything to spend it on. I'm happy to take you out on a nice date, so please, just relax," he gently explained. He wanted the night to be special for them, to be something he never would have done otherwise. They both ordered pasta when the waitress took came by, Holly J going with the gnocchi and Eli sticking with ravioli.

"So, how badly did your parents freak out?" Eli asked slowly, a little afraid of the answer.

"Um, well, my dad didn't really care. My mom was… judgy, as she is. The guyliner and the black nails freaked her out a little, I think," Holly J giggled. She wasn't sure if she should bring up what else her mom said. She wanted to have a nice, relaxed, fun time with him tonight, but she also wanted to be completely honest with him. Looking out the window, she sighed and decided on the latter. "And then… she brought up Yale…"

"What about Yale?" he responded, his face getting serious.

"Eli, you know I'm still going to go in August, right?" Eli didn't want to have this conversation, not now, not ever.

"August is still…"

"Six weeks." Eli frowned slightly out the window. He had just gotten her. There was no way that he would be ready to give her up. It wasn't fair. Why did he always have to give up the ones that he cared about the most? "Eli…" she started gently, reaching out to softly take his hand in hers, "I told her that we would deal with it when the time came. But, right now, I want these six weeks to be the best they can, and dwelling on the future isn't going to help. So, please, let's just not worry about it." Eli knew that Holly J was right. Hell, he even knew about Yale before getting into a relationship with her. But putting a time line on it made it real, and that scared him. He swallowed hard and met her gaze across the table.

"You're right. We shouldn't worry yet. Things will be okay," he said, making her smile.

"We're going to be together, we're going to have a blast, and we're never going to forget this summer." Eli smirked and nodded, trying his hardest to push the Ivy League from his mind, "So, what about your parents? We're they completely shocked?"

"No, they knew I liked you," Eli shrugged, "Other than the embarrassing moment when Bullfrog found me dancing around my room…"

"Wait, you danced around your room?" she giggled.

"Well, yeah. The girl that I've liked since pretty much the beginning of summer agreed to be my girlfriend. I think that's pretty room dance worthy, don't you?" Holly J could only giggle at the thought of Eli really dancing around his room because of her. She squeezed his hand a little tighter and met his gaze again.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For inviting me to Sav's party. For asking me to dance. For getting along with my friends and not pushing me to go too fast with all of this. I think you know that it wasn't really easy for me to come to terms with everything," she explained.

"I know, and that's why I didn't push. I figured, if it was supposed to happen, it would happen," he shrugged.

"I'm really glad it did."

"Me too."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Sorry it's a day late and a dollar short, in my opinion. Thanks again to ToastMania, Kasia, Lyssa, Steff, the Holly J who IMed me on my RP account, and the random anon I woke up to on Thursday morning. You guys make my life. Thanks to everyone who reads and especially those who review!**


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer: Yeah, you know.

* * *

><p>The couple talked and laughed through their meals, each sharing a bit with the other, the candles on the tables around them giving them each a glow about them. Eli refused to even let Holly J split the check with him, saying that it wasn't a real date if she paid for part of it. They declined dessert, Eli explaining that he had that in mind for later and they left the restaurant.<p>

"So, Miss Sinclair, what do you want to do now?" Eli asked, a small smirk playing on his lips as their fingers entwined. He thought the date was going pretty well, save for the little discussion about their future. As much as he hated to do it, he forced himself to push the thought from his mind, at least until after tonight.

"I thought you had this whole night planned? Or was that just some clever way to get me off your back?" she teased, walking slowly along the pier. The lights from the city reflected in the water, throwing dancing stars on her legs. Eli pulled her to him, giving her a little spin and dip, not wanting to waste the moment.

"Oh, believe me, it's planned. I just want to know if there is something else you would rather be doing?" he explained with a cheeky grin as they started walking again.

"Something else other than walking along the waterfront, the city in the background, on a beautiful night with my handsome and sexy boyfriend? Nope, nothing else comes to mind…"

"Handsome and sexy? I mean, I always knew I was handsome but sexy too? You know, I don't put out until the third date," he joked.

"Shut up," she laughed, leaning over to give him a quick peck, "So, where are we going?"

"Right…. here," he said as they walked up to a brown brick and glass building with a spire jutting out of the middle of it, spelling out it's name in lights. It had a sort of greenhouse looking room attached to it that they could see a few sculptures through.

"The Power Plant? What is this place?" Holly J asked, slightly confused.

"It's an art museum…" Eli answered hesitantly. He had thought that she had mentioned that she liked to draw and sketch when she had the time, but the way she was acting made him nervous. He kicked himself mentally. He knew he should have gone for a movie. She had even said that she wanted to see that new Joss Whedon film, "If you don't want to, we could always…"

"No, I want to," she interrupted softly, "I've just never heard of this place. How did you find it?" Growing up here, Holly J had been to a few of the museums and art galleries in Toronto, whether for school or for her own pleasure. It was odd for her to not know of a museum.

"My parents used to take me here as a kid…" He started as they walked in and she gave him a look as if to say 'really?' "Uh, no. I found it on Google when I was looking to see which train station would be closest to the restaurant," he admitted with a chuckle. She nodded with a smile as they got tickets and waited to be let in. Since it was later at night, not many people were left, just the odd tourist or two. They entered the first exhibition room and stood, both of them blinking a few times at a piece.

"So… it's…" Eli tried, turning his head slightly sideways, his mouth not really being able to form the correct words to describe what he was looking at.

"Modern… art," she deadpanned as she bit her lip to keep from laughing. Eli cracked a smile and took a breath, composing himself.

"Well, see, obviously the artist is trying to convey a sense of loneliness in today's society. What do you think?" Holly J looked over at him and started to giggle.

"It's a suitcase with a wife beater on it," she laughed. Eli couldn't help but join her. There was no skill involved in making it. How did this type of thing pass for art? The guard at the entrance for the next room looked at them, giving them a stern eye.

"Maybe the next one will be better?" he suggested as they walked forwards, stopping in front of a door that was leaning against the wall. The top portion of the door had a window in it, "Freed Doorway," he read from the little plaque that hung next to it.

"I wasn't aware that doors needed to be liberated," Holly J mused.

"Of course they do. All they do is swing open and closed at their master's will, never being able to make their own decisions. It's a horrible life to live."

"Oh, well, I'm sorry. I'll apologize to all my doors and make sure to set them free when I get home," she laughed, "I mean, at least paint the thing. Give it some sort of artistic value. But this? This is just leftovers from the hardware store. This isn't art."

'It kind of reminds me of that guy who ripped a urinal off a wall and signed it, calling it art. It was this huge, important piece that the critics loved and was sold for way too much money. It's a urinal. You pee in it. That's it." Eli explained. Obviously, he should have done a little more research into what kind of museum this was, but nonetheless, Holly J seemed to be having a good time making fun of all the "art." The guard made a noise to catch their attention and held a finger to his lips, telling them to be quiet. They both immediately got serious but only broke down into giggles moments later.

"Hey," Holly J whispered, poking Eli in the ribs, "Have you ever seen the film _Bande à Part?" _

"No. It sounds French."

"It is. New Wave to be exact. What about _The Dreamers_?"

"No. Should I have?" he asked.

"Yes, you should. They are both excellent. _The Dreamers_ is sort of porn though. Anyway, in both of them, the main characters decided to see how long it takes them to run through the Louvre…" Holly J said with a coy smile. Eli's eyes lit up in understanding and he returned her smile.

"As soon as we get past the guard, gun it," he whispered. She nodded and composed herself, turning casually towards the next room. Their hands entwined as their faces went to either of the walls, glancing at the other pieces of junk. The guard watched as they approached, furrowing his eyebrows at them. Holly J smiled and nodded as they passed.

"Go!" Eli yelled and he was off, Holly J not far behind him, her heels echoing off the walls. The guard yelled in surprise and chased after them, telling them to stop and other various threats of getting kicked out. They weaved in and out of people, Holly J stopping briefly to take her shoes off, and they rounded a corner, entering the huge glass room that was visible from the outside. Eli's hand never left hers as the skyline went flying by, the lights being merely shooting stars. They ran across a balcony and down some stairs, their shared laughter drowning out the commotion around them. They finally burst through the front doors and into the night, Eli turning so that she ran into his arms, his lips crashing into hers.

"The two of you are never welcome at the Power Plant ever again!" a manager-type lady yelled from the doorway. Holly J threw up her middle finger and kissed Eli deeper before pulling away for a moment.

"We don't want to see any of your shitty art anyway! Next time, try painting something more than a boombox!" she yelled back. The lady looked very offended but didn't say anything and turned away, going back inside. Holly J turned back towards Eli, a nervous smile on her face, "I hope you didn't have too many childhood memories of that place." Eli could only laugh even harder, resting his forehead against hers. He couldn't believe they actually did that. This girl was still full of surprises and he couldn't wait to experience more. Eli leaned in and kissed her again, this time tenderly, wanting her to know how happy she made him. Holly J only sighed into it, wrapping her arms around his waist.

"So, ice cream?" he suggested after they broke apart.

"Ice cream sounds wonderful."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: You should totally watch _Bande à Part, _but you can skip_ The Dreamers. _Anyway, once again thanks to Rochelle, Kasia, ToastMania, Steff, Lyssa, Ariel, and anyone else who's told me that they've been reading. It means so, so much to me. Also, I really don't know what I'm going to do without Holly J on the show. I'm going to miss her so much. Lastly, there is going to be a sequel. Thanks for reading! Review!**


	17. Chapter 17

Disclaimer: If the writers for Degrassi aren't going to be using Holly J anymore, I'll gladly buy the rights for her.

* * *

><p>"I had a wonderful time," Holly J whispered against Eli's lips, the darkness of the hearse providing cover for their actions. Eli moaned lightly, his fingers tracing down her sides as her lips made a path along his jawline.<p>

"So did I," he answered, "I want to see you tomorrow." She pulled back slightly, smiling at him.

"I have work. Dinner shift. After?"

"Of course. I'll pick you up," Eli said, placing a tender kiss on her lips.

"Sounds good. I'll see you tomorrow then," she giggled as she got out of Morty. She waved to him when she reached her front door and took out her keys, opening it to let herself in. She leaned against it for a moment after she closed it, sighing happily. That was the best date she had been on. Eli was so fantastic and she couldn't believe how much fun she had with him.

"Where have you been?" Heather said from the kitchen.

"Heather? What are you doing here?" Holly J answered as she walked further into the apartment. Her sister rarely ever came to visit, mostly only for holidays.

"Mom called and said she was missing me, I had nothing to do this weekend so I thought what the hell. Mom said you were on a date with your new boyfriend?" Heather asked as she brought her drink into the living room, getting comfortable on the couch. A wide smile spread across Holly J's lips, the thoughts of Eli drifting around her brain.

"Yeah, Eli. He's a good guy," she said softly.

"So, I take it this date was good?"

"Really good. We went to Toula downtown and then to an art museum. It was probably one of the best dates I've ever been on. The only one that maybe tops it was with Declan, on the roof in New York…"

"Oh, yeah, Mr. Money Bags. Do you ever talk to him anymore?" Holly J's smile slipped slightly. She didn't have a whole ton of contact with her sister, but she thought that Heather at least knew what happened.

"He… passed away. A little less than a month and a half ago. Aortic aneurysm, completely undetectable. Fi said that one minute he was there, hanging out at her condo and the next… he was gone," she explained. It still felt slightly unreal to tell the story, like it didn't happen to him and she was just reciting a newspaper article about someone else.

"I'm sorry. I liked him. Declan was a good guy," Heather commiserated. Holly J gave a weak smile in thanks, "But, this guy Eli…" Even thinking about Eli, thinking about how well he listened to her when she needed someone to understand the most, how even after their first conversation he seemed to genuinely care about her, how he opened up to her and trusted her, thinking about him helped ease the pain of Declan. Holly J didn't think she would ever be fully over Declan Coyne, but with Eli's help, she was able to move on.

"He's so incredible. He's patient and kind, sweet, funny, caring, sexy…"

"Not to make him seem like too great of a guy or anything," Heather said sarcastically. Holly J picked up one of the throw pillows from the couch and hit her with it, "Okay, okay, I get it. He's a good guy and I'm happy for you. Now, I have to kick you out of my room so I can sleep." Holly J leaned over and hugged her sister goodnight before she made her way up the stairs to her own room, still clutching the rose that Eli had given her.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Eli closed the door behind him, swallowing down the thoughts that had been racing through his mind the entire short drive from Holly J's apartment complex. She was leaving. She was going to leave him. There was nothing he could do about it. There was no way he could actually ask her to give up Yale for him. He wasn't that selfish, yet he wanted to be so badly.

"Hey, you're home early. I hope that's not a bad thing…" Bullfrog called from the living room. Eli sighed and made his way into the house. He was hoping that no one would be up.

"It's not. She had a curfew. Why are you up?" Eli asked as he took a seat in a nearby chair, running a hand through his hair.

"I just got home too. Rodney's on vacation so I had to fill in for him. If the date went well, why do you look like hell?" Eli shook his head and looked down. He really didn't want to talk about it. There was nothing that anyone could say that would make him feel better about all of this.

"She's leaving me," he said softly. Bullfrog just blinked at him.

"You're going to have to give me more, son. I thought you said the date went well?"

"She got accepted to Yale and she's going. I mean, I always knew she was going to go; it wasn't like she kept it a secret from me but… now it just seems so much more real. We just got together. We just became official three days ago and kissed not even a week ago and now?" Eli paused to gather his thoughts, all of them spilling out of his mouth before he could really make sense of them, "I met Holly J six weeks ago and now you're saying that my time with her is half gone? I'm not ready to let go of her, dad."

Dad. It felt odd to call Bullfrog that, but that's who he needed right now. Eli needed his dad. He finally looked up and met his gaze, Eli's eyes desperate for an answer, for a solution. Bullfrog frowned slightly.

"Life hasn't been very fair to you. First, Julia was taken from us way too soon, then Clare and her whole situation, and now Holly J. You really like her." He softly replied.

"More than any other girl, any other person I've met. When I wake up, she's the first thing I think about and when I go to sleep, I want to have her in my arms. I've been away from her for, what, fifteen minutes now and I'm fighting my hardest to not text her," and Eli's phone beeped in his pocket.

"I guess she didn't fight quite as hard," Bullfrog chuckled as Eli took his phone out to read the goodnight text from Holly J. He texted a quick reply back, a small smile forming at just knowing that she was thinking of him too.

"She's perfect. She's fun and creative, easy to talk to, warm, sarcastic, beautiful…" Bullfrog smiled a bit listening to his son describe this dream girl.

"When your mom and I first met, I knew she was the one. We dated and were together for close to a year, but then I got my first job out in Calgary and she had to stay around here. It hurts. We broke up and I didn't hear from her for almost two years. Those were by far the hardest years of my life. I needed her more than anyone else and all I could think about was if she had found someone else. My station got bought out and I had to move back here, and the second day we ran into each other at Tim Hortons of all places and, well, you know the rest," his dad said, "I can see how happy she makes you and believe me, I want nothing more than for you to be happy. Sometimes, life takes you away from the person you're supposed to be with, but if it's real, life will put you back with them. You'll be Grade 12 this year and we'll have university visits, holiday breaks, long weekend vacations… if you want to be with her, you may have to wait a little bit, but we'll make sure you see her. This doesn't have to be the end if you don't want it to be." Eli nodded as he listened to the story. He didn't love the thought of a long distance relationship at all, but he would do it for her.

"Thanks. I'm kind of tired so I'm gonna go to bed now. I'll see you at work tomorrow," and he gave Bullfrog a hug before going up the stairs and into his room.

Where was Yale, exactly? Eli knew it was in the States, on the east coast, but which state? How far away was it? He immediately got on his computer and did a search for the university. Connecticut. Morty would never make it all the way there and back for a weekend visit and although he knew his parents supported his relationship with Holly J, they wouldn't shell out close to $600 just so he could see her at school. He could always say that it was a university visit, that he was considering applying to Yale, but no one would buy that. Although he does well at school, Eli didn't have the grades or the desire to go to an Ivy League university. Frustrated, he closed his computer. Life was going to rip him away from the one girl that gave it back to him.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Read! Review! By my planning, there isn't really much left, maybe 6 or so chapters? So, if you guys like it, let me know and I will for sure write the sequel that I have planned. Thanks again and be sure to leave me a review!**


	18. Chapter 18

Disclaimer: How many times am I going to have to tell you? I don't own anything.

* * *

><p>They spent every moment they could together, Holly J going to the radio station for lunch when she could and Eli would hang out at the steak house until her shifts ended. They were determined to not let a single minute slip into an hour without the other one. Their family and co-workers thought it was cute, odd but cute, how much they seemed to be in puppy love, but Eli knew in the back of his head that he was attached and he wasn't going to just give her up in August.<p>

Holly J's eyes kept darting towards the bar. It was already two hours into her dinner shift, she only had two more, and Eli was nowhere to be found. He hadn't called or texted to say that he couldn't make it. She knew that it was silly of her to worry so much since they've only been together for a few weeks, but this could possibly be the first day since they started dating that they hadn't seen each other.

"Holly J, table 17," her boss Juan said, breaking through her worried thoughts. She would just have to call him tonight to see what happened. Maybe he was sick or Morty broke down or something. There had to be some reason. Sighing, she grabbed her order pad and pen and forced her best smile on her face.

"Welcome to Little Miss Steaks, I'm Holly J and I'll be…" she started before it really kicked in who was sitting in front of her.

"Holly J! Hi! We didn't know you were working tonight," Cece chimed in. Eli and his parents had decided that tonight was a good night for a steak and they just happened to have been sat in Holly J's section. What a coincidence.

"Hi," she smiled, "Really? I work every Friday night…" and she looked at Eli, who was only smirking, obviously enjoying the fact that she was their waitress.

"Eli insisted that we go out to eat tonight," Bullfrog explained, clearly understanding why.

"Did he now? How nice of him. Well, tonight our specials are the porterhouse steak, grilled any way you want it, with a choice of potato and our famous vegetable medley, and our soups are chicken noodle and onion. Anything to drink?" she recited. As happy as she was to see Eli, the fact that she was serving her boyfriend's family was horribly awkward for her. The group ordered quickly, Cece trying her best to ease the situation. It shouldn't bother her as much as it did. It was just work and the Goldsworthy family were just regular customers, except that if she screwed up an order or something, she would have to face them tomorrow. The fact that their son had his hand up her shirt less than 24 hours earlier didn't help either.

Holly J tended to her other guests as the family ate, the usual laughs and bits of stories floating her way every once in awhile. Cece and Bullfrog fascinated Holly J. She had never seen two adults genuinely enjoy each other's company so much, not even her own parents. Her parents usually sat and watched a sitcom in silence and called it "quality" time. Eli's parents talked, really talked and laughed together. It was nice to see, but at the same time uncomfortable, unfamiliar. They were very open, not even caring that Holly J and Eli had spent an entire day in his room, the door not only closed but also locked. Sometimes she thought that her mother's biggest fear was Holly J having sex in their apartment. Eli never came over when her mom was home. It was just easier that way.

"You get off at ten, right?" Eli asked as Holly J placed the check on the table.

"Yeah. I hear everyone is going to Above the Dot tonight."

"I'll pick you up from here."

"I'll need to change," she said as she glanced down at her tablecloth of a work uniform.

"Then we'll go to your place so you can change," he said with a smile. Holly J nodded and took the bill from Bullfrog who told her to keep the change. They left, Eli giving her a quick kiss on the cheek, which led to questions for the other tables she was waiting on and a stern look from Juan.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Your dad left me a $20 tip."

"So? We had a good service," Eli retorted as he drove them towards Holly J's apartment.

"Eli, your bill was only $30. That's a 66% tip. That's a little ridiculous," she stated as she pulled her hair out of the pigtails that she always wore for work, getting a little annoyed that he didn't see what was wrong in this situation. Between serving his family and the large tip, it made Holly J feel gross, almost like when Declan was going to pay her to not work.

"Am I in trouble here for something Bullfrog did?"

"No, but… did you ask to be put in my section?"

"Maybe," he responded with a little smile, one which Holly J did not mirror, "What? My parents didn't know what to have for dinner, I suggested Little Miss Steaks, and I wanted them to see how good you are at your job. It's sexy."

"Oh, yeah, working at a steak house is really a turn on," she threw back sarcastically.

"It's sexy that you don't rely on someone to take care of you. That you're independent and your goal in life isn't to be some kept woman, that you are doing what you need to do to have the life you want. That's incredibly sexy to me," Eli explained softly as he parked Morty outside of her apartment. Holly J listened to him and as much as she didn't want to admit it, she felt a lot better about everything… as long as it didn't happen again.

"Good answer," and she got out of the car, taking her keys out of her purse. She let both of them in and placed her bag on the kitchen table. Holly J took a few steps up to her room and looked behind her at Eli, who barely left the doorway.

"You coming? No one's home…" she purred with a coy smile. Eli chuckled with a smirk and followed her up to her room, shutting the door behind him. Holly J went over to her closet and opened it, flicking through the garments to find something suitable to wear. Above the Dot wasn't exactly the trendiest place to be, but she still wanted to look nice. She picked out a tight black dress that had a lace neckline and sleeves. She wouldn't look overdressed, but she could still be shown off. Laying the dress on the bed, her fingers moved to the cow print vest she had to wear, popping each button one by one.

"Here, let me help you with that," Eli said in hushed tones as he moved in front of her, placing a small kiss on her lips. Smiling against his own, she deepened the kiss, letting her tongue slide along his bottom lip, her fingers brushing against his neck, leaving goosebumps in their wake. His fingers moved deftly down, each button coming undone and he untucked her shirt, pushing it softly off her shoulders. Holly J let the fabric fall to the floor and she moaned softly against his lips as his hands went for her bare skin. Her own went for the back of her skirt, slowly pulling down the zipper, letting the red and white tablecloth pool around their feet.

Eli slowly backed Holly J onto her bed, laying them both down and positioning himself between her legs. She smelled so good to him even though she had just gotten off work, his lips trailing along her jaw line and down her neck. Holly J arched her back, pressing her hips into him and he let out a small gasp into the crook of her neck, sending chills down her spine. Her fingers worked their way under the hem of his shirt and she pulled it up slightly, loving the feeling of his bare chest on hers. The tiny sounds she made, the small gasps and minute moans completely drove him crazy. There was absolutely no doubt in her mind that she wanted him, needed him to be a part of her.

"Holly J…" he whispered against the shell of her ear, biting lightly and grinding his jean-clad hips against her own, pulling another whimper from her throat. He didn't need to finish the sentence; she knew what he was asking. She nodded against his shoulder as his hands ran softly up and down her sides, teasing the fabric of her bra. Eli smiled against her skin, feeling himself get harder against the stiff fabric of his skinny jeans. He pulled away slightly and met her gaze, taking a moment to wonder how he got so lucky. "You're so beautiful, " he said softly, leaning down to kiss her tenderly.

"Holly J? Are you home yet?" Mrs. Sinclair's voice traveled up from the front door.

"Shit," Holly J whispered harshly, pushing Eli off of her and standing up, "You're not supposed to be in my room." The girl quickly slipped on the black dress she had laid out before and picked up her work uniform from the floor. Eli looked terrified. He knew that her mom didn't like him and he silently hoped that she wouldn't be too mad that he was here. He moved from the bed to sit at the chair at her vanity and pulled a hand through his hair a few times, trying to make it look like nothing had happened.

"Why is this door closed?" her mom asked as she let herself in, just in time to find Holly J sitting on her bed, slipping a pair of heels on while Eli absentmindedly clicked on her computer. "Ah, Eli's here. What's going on?"

"Nothing," Holly J responded innocently, going over to the vanity to grab a hairbrush, "We're going to Above the Dot but I needed to change first. I didn't want to be rude and just leave Eli downstairs by himself." She was silently praying that her mom would go with their story, that she wouldn't notice the tiny scratches on the back of Eli's neck and the fact that the blankets on her bed had a distinct outline from their bodies.

"We've discussed this, Holly J. No boys in your room with the door closed, especially when no one is home," her mom threw back, completely ignoring Eli in the process.

"I know. I'm sorry. It won't happen again." And Holly J's hand went for Eli's helping him stand to leave.

"Midnight, young lady." Holly J looked at her mother in exasperation. It was already 10:30.

"Two."

"12:30."

"1:30."

"Midnight," Mrs. Sinclair countered again, crossing her arms across her chest.

"One? It's Friday, I don't have work tomorrow, and that's when it closes anyway. I'll come right home after, I swear," Holly J begged. She had been hoping to have at least a little private time with her boyfriend, but her mother was trying to crush this "phase" out of her, as she called it.

"If you are not in that door by 12:59, you are grounded for the rest of the summer. Got it?"

"Thanks, mom. You're the best," and Holly J couldn't help but smile as she practically dragged Eli down the stairs and out the door. She looked over at him as they walked and giggled.

"What?" he asked.

"You looked absolutely terrified of my mother," she laughed, shoving into his shoulder lightly. Eli just shook his head and smiled. No, tonight wouldn't go down as one of his proudest moments.

"I'm sorry, I was a little more concerned with trying to hide the physical evidence of our actions. It must be very convenient as a female to not have the whole world know that you're turned on," he threw back sarcastically as he opened the passenger's door for her. She slid into the familiar seat and leaned back, relaxing into the soft leather. This night had brought up something that Holly J had been tossing around in her head for the past few days, but she had been to afraid to talk with Eli about. Now was probably the best time, before things went too far.

"We should probably talk about it though," she started as he turned on the ignition.

"Talk about what?" he asked slowly, already not liking the direction this night had taken.

"Sex, and our plan for it."

"We have to have a plan?"

"No, not like a plan, but… you know I'm on the pill, right?" Holly J stated, trying to be as light about this as possible. She had every faith that, if her mom hadn't come home, they would have been ready anyway, but she thought it best to have confirmation.

"I didn't, but I'm glad you are," Eli responded, keeping his eyes glued to the road.

"And it's not like this is the first time for either of us…"

"So you're saying we _are_ going to have sex?" he laughed. She sighed and looked out the window, unimpressed with his laid back attitude, "Look, I have a box of condoms in my bedside drawer and always have one in my wallet just in case. Combined with you being on the pill and we're covered. I've only ever been with Julia and I'm clean. Was Declan the only person you've been with?"

"Yeah, I didn't have sex with Sav and I'm clean too," she said softly.

"Then what else is there to worry about? As sad as I am that we didn't do it tonight, I can wait. It will happen when it's supposed to happen, right?" Eli pulled up to The Dot and parked on the street, killing the engine, "Don't worry about it, okay? We have birth control and we're both clean. Holly J, I really, really like you and I'm ready whenever you are." And he leaned over, gently placing a kiss on her lips. She kissed him back in kind, smiling when they parted.

"Good. I really, really like you too and I'm glad to know that when the time comes and no parents can walk in on us, we're prepared," she said, "Now, come on, let's see why everyone is here tonight," and they got out of the car, making their way up the stairs and inside.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: To be continued… See you next week.**


	19. Chapter 19

Disclaimer: -insert song and dance here-

* * *

><p>The room had that familiar red tint to it from the neon signs on the walls, the only other lights coming from the DJ booth. Small groups were gathered around the various pool tables and other sources of entertainment, a few faces standing out from the crowd. Spinner, Emma, and Peter were keeping an eye over everything while Sav did his best to put the DJ out of a job, requesting songs every few minutes.<p>

"Go find us a place to sit and I'll get us some drinks," Eli said in her ear as he squeezed her hand. Holly J nodded and started walking, cutting through the groups of people until she made her way towards the back. There was an empty booth right in the corner and she immediately went for it, siding into it. She still didn't really know why everyone was here tonight. Yeah, Above the Dot was fun, but it was mostly Niners and some Grade 10's that hung out here on a Friday night. Still, if this was where the party was at, who was Holly J to question it.

"Coke okay?" Eli asked as he set down two tall glasses onto the table. The girl nodded and took a sip as he slid next to her in the booth, "So, why is everyone here?"

"No idea. Look, even Jay and Manny are here," she lamented as she observed the crowd.

"Who are Jay and Manny?" Eli asked, slightly confused.

"Manny and I were on Spirit Squad together when I first came to Degrassi. Jay's her boyfriend… fiancé… thing."

"Why don't you go over and say hi?"

"Oh no. Last time I saw her was at Spinner and Emma's wedding and she wasn't too thrilled. I think it's best if I just stay over here in the dark," Holly J said as she got comfortable in her seat, "Let's just let them have their night and we'll have ours, okay?" and she let her hand run up and down Eli's back. Manny didn't like Holly J by association. Heather was legendary at Degrassi for basically being the she-devil and Manny assumed that Holly J carried on the tradition. She was right for a little bit, but a lot had changed in a year. Eli looked back and smiled at her, leaning back and shifting her so that she laid back on his chest a bit, his arms wrapped around hers.

"Fine by me. Do you want to play a game?" he asked as he played with her fingers.

"Mmm, what kind of game?" she softly replied, placing a light kiss just under his jawline.

"Questions. Nothing is off limits." She considered his proposition and nodded slightly, "Okay, what's a fantasy you've had?"

"Oh, so those types of questions?" Holly J laughed. She was a little uncomfortable with playing this game out in the open, but she figured that if he asked anything really embarrassing, she could get him back with an equally embarrassing question. "Hmm, let's see. I've always wanted to have sex in a shower…"

"Shower sex. Duly noted for future reference," Eli teased. To be honest, Eli wasn't surprised. He didn't think Holly J would be the kind to have completely weird and out there fantasies, like extreme bondage or vampire fetishes. But then again, Clare… "Okay, it's your turn."

"Hmm…" she thought for a moment. Eli's taste in women seemed to vary a lot. She had seen pictures of Julia and she was a "non-conformist" like Eli, Clare had been very conservative and homey, and her own style was more fashion-forward. It was slightly confusing. "If you could sleep with one celebrity, who would it be?"

"Seriously, Sinclair?"

"Yes, everyone has one, so who's yours?" Eli sat back and considered her question for a moment.

"Catwoman."

"…Catwoman?"

"Yes, Catwoman. Not the Halle Berry one, the Michelle Pfeiffer tight black vinyl bodysuit one. That's hot." Holly J just blinked as she took in all that this could mean. Bodysuits? Claws?

"You're a nerd," she said plainly.

"You like it," and he leaned over, pressing his lips to hers, "If you only have to eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?"

"Mushroom pizza, that's easy," she said without hesitation, "If you could live anywhere else in the world, where would you pick?" Eli knitted his eyebrows together and thought hard. Anywhere in the world? There were a lot of places he would like to visit, like New York, Paris, Tokyo, cities like that. He really liked living in Toronto though. This was his home.

"I guess London. I've never been there but it just seems cool. Extremely modern yet ancient. It still has a gothic feel to it; I don't really know how to explain it. But, yeah, London," he finished quietly. Holly J listened intently to his answer. She had always wanted to go to London herself.

"Maybe someday… we'll go," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. She didn't want to say it too loudly, fearing that it would come across as a promise. She couldn't promise anything when it came to Eli. In two weeks, she was going to be gone. The thought was terrifying to her. She leaned forward and finished her drink, looking back at him, "Come on, let's go dance."

"Oh no, I don't dance."

"Bull. You danced with me at Sav's party. And you told me how you danced around your room. You, Eli Goldsworthy, dance."

"Yeah, I can dance when I want to…" Holly J rolled her eyes as he challenged her to finish the thought.

"You can leave your friends behind?" she sighed. Eli let a wide grin come across his face.

"Thank you for amusing me. Now I'll dance with you," he said as he stood from the booth, helping her out. He took her hand in his own, leading them out into the crowd of people dancing in front of the DJ booth. Turning her towards him, Eli's hands made a trail down to her waist, his bottom lip going between his teeth nervously.

"I'm not a very good dancer…" he said softly, trying his best to move to the music. Holly J moved her own hands to his hips, gently instructing him.

"You're doing fine," she said, closing the gap between them. Her hips brushed against his own, taking the job of her hands, both of them falling into a rhythm. Snaking her arms over his shoulders and around his neck, she brought her lips to the shell of his ear, "See? It's not that hard…"

Eli swallowed down the lump that had formed in his throat. Dancing wasn't so bad, especially when one had a more than capable teacher. He gripped her waist tighter, bringing her even closer to him and letting his head fall to the crook of her neck. Her smell wrapped itself around his mind and intoxicated him. The temperature between the two of them had raised considerably, the feel of Holly J's fingers in his hair driving him crazy. She had a power over him; no other girl had made him feel like this before.

"Excuse me, are you the Eli that Clare wouldn't shut up about?" an unfamiliar voice asked. Holly J's eyes few open wide, her whole body instantly stiffening.

"Umm, who wants to know?" Eli asked as casually as he could. He had no idea who this tan, brown-eyed brunette girl was and why she was talking to Clare about him.

"I'm Darcy, Clare's sister. I knew it was you, she's shown me so many pictures…" she started enthusiastically but her smile started to fade as Holly J turned around, "Oh."

"You're back," Holly J stated matter-of-factly, her good mood from the night instantly going away. Neither of the Edwards sisters were Holly J's favorite people in the world, but Darcy was the worse of the two in her opinion.

"Holly J. So glad to see that you're still making people miserable for your own gain," Darcy greeted, her eyes shooting daggers between them, "This will be fun to tell my sister how you stole her boyfriend." Holly J's jaw dropped and she stepped closer to the other girl.

"Obviously, you've spent too much time in the harsh Kenyan sun and your memory is messed up. I didn't steal Eli."

"Oh, my memory is fine. I still remember how giant your rump is," Darcy threw back.

"I'm glad to see that the little, poor African children know how to put in cheap hair extensions. What a fantastic skill to teach them. Really, God works in mysterious ways." Eli looked around at the other people, hoping that someone, anyone would step in to stop these two from tearing each other apart.

"Holly J, let's just go," Eli asked softly, trying to grab her hand.

"Tell me, what did you have to do to take him from Clare? You couldn't just leave the guy alone," Darcy retorted, ignoring the pleas from Peter to just walk away.

"Not like you who just up and leaves their boyfriend to go to Africa for years. What a good girlfriend you are! He ended up with Mamma Mia after you broke his heart, right? Best decision of his life, in my opinion," Holly J spat out. Peter's grip on Darcy's forearm tightened, shaking his head at Holly J.

"I heard the Power Squad kicked you off of it even though you were captain? Best decision _they_ ever made. You barely made it through try outs when I was there."

"At least I remember losing my virginity."

Darcy's face crumbled, every angry and horrible thought being replaced by pure pain. Holly J knew she had crossed the line but she wasn't about to apologize; after all, Darcy had started this.

"Holly J, that was low," Spinner said.

"You're horrible," Manny threw out as Darcy leaned into her shoulder, wiping away tears. Eli just stood there, dumbfounded at the whole situation.

"Whatever," Holly J mumbled and she moved through the people, making her way out the door and down the stairs.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Catfight! Thank you so much to everyone who has been reading and especially those of you who have reviewing! More and more of you are coming forward and telling me how much you like this and I can't thank you guys enough! There's only a few chapters left so if you were planning on saying something, tell me soon before it's over! Thanks again!**


	20. Chapter 20

Disclaimer: I should own Degrassi. At least my writing has continuity (oh snap!)

* * *

><p>Holly J took long strides, trying to put as much distance between herself and that place as possible. She knew it was a low blow. She knew she shouldn't have said it, but Darcy Edwards needed to learn when to shut the hell up. She just wanted to get out of there. For the first time all summer, Holly J was wishing that Yale would hurry up and get here so she wouldn't have to face any of them again.<p>

"Holly J, wait," Eli called after her, "Where are you going?"

"Home," she yelled back, her voice shaking from the tears she refused to spill.

"Go to Morty, I'll take you."

"No, I'm walking." Eli ran to catch up with her, gently grasping her arm and turning her towards him.

"The fuck you are. I'm not letting you walk home alone, Holly J." He hooked a finger under her chin, pushing her head up, "Look at me. Do you want to tell me what that was all about?" She couldn't look him in the eyes. She had hoped that Eli would never see that side of her. All her old habits were coming up again; the rudeness and her stubbornness ruining yet another of her relationships. Eli clenched his jaw and briefly looked away, letting go of her, his anger starting to come to the surface. "Clare told me what happened to her sister. That's one of the reasons I never pushed her to have sex," he started in a calm but tense voice that terrified Holly J, "And I never wanted to believe what Peter and those guys said, that you were scary and mean and everyone hated you… but now I can."

Her eyes shone with tears that Eli could see, even through the dark. What could possibly be her defense? She had none. Yes, Darcy had been rude too, but Eli had thought that Holly J would have just walked away. At least, the Holly J he knew would have just walked away.

"It just… came out," she said softly, "When I'm pushed like that, I turn into… into the girl I used to be. The girl everyone hated. I'm so embarrassed and I shouldn't have said it. I'm so sorry." The girl before Eli looked just like that: a girl, not the mature, confident young woman that he had gotten to know so well. He didn't know this regretful, sad, pathetic person.

"I'm not the one you should be apologizing to," and he turned from her, making his way across the street. Holly J's face crumpled, the tears finally spilling down her cheeks. What could she do? Even if she went back up to there, Manny wouldn't let her near Darcy, let alone talk to her and try to apologize. And now even Eli was giving up on her as he fished the keys to his car from his pocket. This whole night had been so messed up. He was going to leave her after everything they had been through this summer, with Declan and Julia, their parents, Clare, her friends, her own insecurities… Now he knew the real Holly J Sinclair… and he didn't want her anymore.

"Are you coming?" Eli called from Morty's driver's side, starting the engine, "I'm not going to leave you out here by yourself. I'm taking you home." Holly J gasped softly in relief and ran over, sliding in. Eli sighed to himself, taking a moment to collect his thoughts. He slowly met her gaze, his usual warm, green eyes growing cold, "Clare's going to hear about this, guaranteed, if she hasn't already, knowing Alli. You may get to leave all this in two weeks, but I still have a good year with these people, so don't bother calling me until you talk to Darcy," he said softly. He couldn't be with her when she was like this.

"I will. Of course I will," Holly J responded, thankful that Eli wasn't going to give up on her.

"Give me a reason to defend you, Holly J," he begged. She softly closed her eyes and let a small tear fall. This was her fault but he was going to have to deal with the mess. It wasn't fair.

"I will."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Go away. You're the last person she wants to see."

"Please, Manny, just let me talk to her," Holly J asked as she stood on the Edwards' doorstep.

"Are you cuckoo bananas? I don't know if you realize but you crossed a line last night. I've never seen Spinner so mad," Manny said, blocking the doorway.

"I know and I want to apologize."

"A Sinclair apologizing? You're joking, right?"

"No, I'm not. I'm not my sister, Manny. I've changed a lot since you were at Degrassi."

"Let her in," a small voice came from just behind Manny, "I want to forgive her, so let her in." Shaking her head, Manny stepped to the side and Holly J entered the house, Darcy frowning at her from across the hall. She was still dressed in her pajamas, no make up, her eyes puffy and raw. Holly J only looked around the house, trying to figure out exactly what she was going to say.

"You're house is very nice…" Holly J tried lightly, hoping to ease into things.

"Speed it up, Sinclair," Manny said tersely, closing the front door. Darcy just folded her arms in front of herself, sighing.

"Right, sorry. Um…" and Holly J took a breath, calming her nerves, "I want to apologize for what I said to you last night about your virginity. What happened to you wasn't your fault and I shouldn't have tried to use it against you. I'm sorry." Darcy could only look down at her slippered feet and Manny just pushed past Holly J, walking into the kitchen with a judgmental scoff.

"I had nightmares about him, Holly J," Darcy said softly, "I didn't even remember who he was but I could still dream about him. It took me a long time to accept what had happened and even longer to work through it."

"I know, and I'm sorry. What I said was horrible and to have it happen in front of everyone was even worse."

"Why would you even say it then?"

"I don't know. I was hurt, I guess. I just… I didn't steal Eli. He and Clare broke up in June and he and I didn't get together until July. They had been over for a month, over a month and it angered me that anyone would think that I would steal someone's boyfriend. I'm not like that." Darcy considered Holly J's words for a moment. Things had gotten so heated between the two girls last night that it was hard to remember who started what.

"Clearly, I had my facts wrong. I'm sorry I accused you of stealing Clare's boyfriend. She didn't tell me details, only that she had heard about you two," Darcy explained, "And thank you for your apology. Now, if you don't mind, I would rather not see you ever again. Stay away from me and my family and don't try to talk to me if we do run into each other. Sound good?"

"Fine by me," Holly J said as she turned to leave.

"Oh, and Holly J? I hope Eli has as easy of a time forgiving you as I did. But, then again, Clare said that he's an atheist so forgiveness isn't really a part of him, is it?" Darcy threw at her. Biting the inside of her lip, Holly J closed the door behind her before she said something else that would make her have to beg forgiveness.

Darcy was right on one thing though. Holly J was going to have to make this up to Eli and she knew just how to do it. With a small smirk on her face, she walked down the block towards downtown, heading to the costume shop.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Thanks for reading! What does Holly J have in mind to make it up to Eli? Special thanks to Steff for talking this chapter through with me and risking spoilers along the way. Reviews are awesome fresh baked cookies! See you next week!**


	21. Chapter 21

Disclaimer: I don't even own my non-essential organs anymore.

* * *

><p>"I still don't really understand how this whole thing happened…"<p>

"Eli, will you stop complaining and help us load up the truck? You may be my son, but out here, you're an intern. Interns don't get free tickets to shows. It's station policy," Bullfrog explained with exasperation. Eli had been on everyone's last nerve all day, the events from the night before setting him on edge. He hadn't heard from Holly J since he dropped her off and he had no idea if she had gone to talk to Darcy. The entire day had been spent in the parking lot of the Air Canada Center, helping out with the station's live broadcast from the Muse show. He had agreed to this in hopes of snagging a ticket, but he hadn't had any luck.

"You're going though, so who are you taking?" Eli threw back as he wound some cables. Bullfrog didn't even really like Muse, but he knew that he would be stupid to pass on free tickets. A bright red mustang pulled slowly up by the truck and Eli couldn't help but roll his eyes.

"Hey, baby boy! How's work?" Cece cheerfully asked as she walked over to quickly hug her son.

"Cece? You're bringing her?" Eli asked, unable to believe how his father was completely screwing him over.

"Wow. My day was fine and I love you too," she said back, going over to greet her husband. Eli only smiled sarcastically.

"We're having a date night. Your mom's been wanting to see them for awhile now," Bullfrog answered.

"That Matt Bellamy has a nice, tight butt," Cece said to no one in particular.

"You can drive the mustang home when you're done here."

"And I know you've been feeling a little down in the dumps, baby boy, so there's a little present in your room," and she tossed him her keys. Eli caught them easily, wondering what it could be.

"Go on. Finish that coil you're working on and get out of here, you miserable mope," Bullfrog teased, kissing Cece on the cheek, "And we'll be late so leave a note if you're going out."

"Holly J hasn't called all day so I'll probably just play xbox or something…" Eli mumbled. He couldn't help but feel a little pathetic. Even his parents had a date tonight and here he was, planning on playing video games on a Saturday night because his girlfriend needed to learn a lesson. It was official; his life was lame. Cece shrugged lightly but still offered a knowing smile, one that only confused Eli. Something was up.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It was a night like this that Eli wished Adam was home, but it was still another two weeks until he and Fi came back to Toronto for school. Sav was at the concert and Eli didn't know Peter or Spinner well enough to stop by The Dot to hang out. Sighing, he parked his mom's car in the driveway and got out, trying to decide which brutally violent game he wanted to play by himself. It felt odd not having heard from Holly J all day, a first since they got together. She was only respecting his wishes but he would have thought that she would have apologized to Darcy by now. The fact that she hadn't made him worry. Maybe she really was as horrible as everyone had said. Maybe he didn't know her as well as he thought.

Eli made his way into the house, leaving his bag next to the door. Cece would yell at him about it tomorrow, but right now, he didn't care. He took the stairs up to his room, excited to see his surprise and deciding that if he was going to have the house to himself for the night, pants were optional. Pulling a hand absentmindedly through his hair, he opened the door to his room and stopped.

Red hair flowed down and over creamy white shoulders, only accented by the last bits of the sunset, long, black satin gloves throwing the porcelain skin into contrast as a set of black lace panties revealed just enough to send Eli's mind into overdrive. Holly J was kneeling on the end of his bed, her feet tucked under her and her gloved hands modestly crossed over and covering her bare chest. She looked back at him over her right shoulder; her lips were painted ruby red and she had cat eyeliner, a set of black cat ears finishing the look.

"Meow."

Eli was speechless. His feet were rooted to the spot and he couldn't get enough of the sight of her. This was by far the sexiest thing anyone had ever done for him. She turned towards him slightly, allowing him to get the full effect. Every inch of her was perfect.

"I know it's not the full vinyl cat suit and I'm not Michelle Pfeiffer, but I was pressed for time…" she said softly, feeling a little embarrassed. He wasn't saying anything. He wasn't even moving. She was so sure that he would like this, that this was what he wanted with no interruptions, but all he could do was stare. She didn't think she could deal if he was still angry with her.

"So, I….uh, I take it that you talked to Darcy?" Eli stammered out, bringing a hand up to rub his neck. The room seemed very hot to him, way warmer than it was when he left his morning. This was better than movie Catwoman; this was real. Holly J was already incredibly sexy and knew how to use it, but this… This was unreal.

"Of course, once Manny let me in. What I said to her was wrong, I apologized and we're okay… well, as okay as Darcy and I will ever be," the girl explained, unable to hide the worry in her eyes. It killed Eli to see her so scared to make any sort of move, so scared of disappointing him.

"That's good," he said in equally hushed tones, taking a step towards her. He itched to reach out and feel her skin, to hold her tight to his body, to press his lips to her own and have that red lipstick leave trails everywhere, but he wouldn't let himself. Not yet. "So, what's this about?"

His question took her off guard. She thought it was obvious what this was about. She thought that at this point, they both would have been completely naked and yet, right now, there was still what seemed like a world between them. Her eyes moved up to his own.

"Eli, I want to be as close to you as I feel."

One.

Swallow.

Two.

Steps.

And three seconds later, his lips captured hers, all lessons and control vanishing. He didn't want to pretend to be mad at her anymore. This stunning goddess had done everything she could to make it up to him and now it was his turn to please her. Her soft skin seemed to melt at his touch as he pulled her even closer to himself, needing to feel her every curve. Her tongue darted across his bottom lip, begging for entry as she deepened the kiss, letting her own fingers play with the hem of his shirt.

"You're so beautiful," Eli whispered against her lips as the cat ears fell somewhere over the side of the bed. Breaking apart just long enough for his shirt to come off, they connected again, Eli kneeling on the bed with her.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do this," and Holly J ran her gloved fingers over his abs and up his chest, finding their way behind his neck. He traced her jawline with small kisses, down her neck and over her shoulder.

"Oh, I think I do," he growled, slowly peeling the glove from her arm, making sure to kiss every inch that was revealed. Taking her petite hand in his, he brought the top of it to his lips, meeting her gaze. Her smile was all he would ever need in life. If Holly J was happy, then Eli could be happy. He had fallen for her, despite everything.

A contented sigh escaped from her lips as he made a path across her chest to repeat his actions down her other arm. All of her nervousness and worry fell away at his touch. The future didn't matter in this moment. Right now, this was where she was supposed to be and who she was supposed to be with. Holly J's fingers moved down again, managing to undo his belt buckle fairly easily. His hands cupped her own as she messed with the button on his jeans, stopping her.

"Are you sure about this?" Eli asked gently, his eyes softening as they met hers. He never wanted to be the guy that pushed girls too far too fast and if she wasn't ready, then they needed to stop now.

"Of course I do. Unless… you don't want to." He took her hands from his jeans and turned them over, lacing their fingers together as he smirked.

"You would be the only force on earth that could stop me," and he tenderly pressed his lips to hers again, squeezing her hands in his own. He placed them back on his jeans and helped her pull them off along with his shoes and socks. Eli never really thought this day would come. Sure, he had joked about it with her and they had gotten close a few times, but he had no idea how long she and Declan had waited, if she had made him go through the prep talk too. None of that mattered at the moment though as her long fingers wrapped around him, sneaking under the waistband of his boxers. "Fuck, Holly J," he hissed.

Holly J couldn't help but smile at his reaction to her touch. She started a slow but steady rhythm, each long stroke pulling a new sound from him. Eli's head was buzzing; it had been far too long since anyone had touched him like that. Her breath at his ear and her skin against his was driving him crazy. The things she could do to him… it wasn't fair.

A finger slid along her opening, making the girl gasp against his shoulder as she continued her ministrations. Another one followed right after and her hips instinctively moved against them, trying to get them to give her some release. Eli took her movements as a sign and lightly laid her onto the bed, hooking his index fingers over the elastic of her panties and pulling them off.

A hand at the side of her waist steadied him as he used his free one to rid himself of the uncomfortable fabric separating them. Her fingers tangled themselves in his dark hair, pulling his lips down to her own, refusing to let him go. Holly J had lost so much; she wasn't going to lose him too. He pressed his hips into hers, letting her know how ready he was and she responded in kind, a small moan falling from her lips.

"Hold on one second…" he panted against her neck, reaching over to his bedside table and opening the drawer. Taking out a condom, Eli unwrapped it and slipped it on. Their eyes met for a moment, each of them in complete admiration of the other. Without even saying a word, they knew.

Eli placed a gentle hand on the side of Holly J's face, pressing his forehead to hers and kissing her sweetly. "You ready?" The girl nodded with a smile. She couldn't have been more ready.

He pushed into her slowly, letting her adjust before he moved again. She couldn't help but take a breath; it didn't hurt but it had been a while for her. She moved her hips up to meet his and he responded, moving slowly at first. She felt so good around him, better than he imagined. Leaning forward a bit, he thrust deeper in her, each one pulling more and more sounds from her.

"Fuck, Eli…" she panted against his ear, gripping his back tightly. Her fingers moved down, leaving pink trails in their wake. The slight pain only spurred him on. His hand found her crimson hair as his teeth scraped across the delicate skin on her neck, pulling another soft cry from her. They built up a rhythm, the pressure building between them.

"Holly J…" he whined softly, doing everything he could to hold on. Holly J moved her legs up and over his hips, letting him thrust fully inside of her, hitting every sensitive spot. She threw her head back as he found the spot that had been begging for attention this whole time. She needed him. He was her everything, her entire world.

Letting out a low moan, she felt her release, every muscle in her body simultaneously contracting and relaxing, the chemicals flooding her brain as she road the waves of her orgasm, Eli not far behind. He reached his own peak, his thrusts slowing and eventually stopping, both their bodies covered in each other's sweat. Eli softly collapsed on Holly J's chest, completely exhausted.

"That was…" but she was interrupted when Eli pressed a finger to her lips, looking up at her. This moment was too perfect; there was no need for words, any words to ruin it. Her hair was tousled and her cheeks flushed, eyes sleepy and lips swollen, the slices of moonlight from his window making her skin glow. This woman couldn't be real, but she was, and she was all his.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Thank you so much for your patience. A couple of weeks ago, I got really sick and, long story short, I had to have my gallbladder removed this past week. Besides the pain from the surgery, I'm doing fine now, but I could barely get in a head space to write for those few weeks. Only a few chapters left! Reviews are smoothies because that's all I can really have right now!**


	22. Chapter 22

Disclaimer: What would happen if I actually did claim I owned Degrassi? Would they really sue me?

* * *

><p>The warm, August air stirred around, encouraged by the ceiling fans, helping make the cooler air rain down on those who had chosen The Dot as their sanctuary from the heat. Smoothies and iced coffees littered the tables; one table in particular that stood near the back was the exception to that. An ice cream sundae, half-eaten at this point, served as the entertainment as well.<p>

"You're totally dripping on me," Holly J exclaimed, a wide grin plastered to her face as she leaned into her boyfriend's arms, a spoonful of the sugary sweetness held by him nearing her mouth.

"Well, anywhere it drips I'll just have to lick…" and Eli's lips placed a needy kiss on the sensitive pulse point on her neck. She took the spoon in her mouth, letting the coolness melt over her tongue and down her throat. With the tip of her tongue, she traced the outline of her lips, some of the residual ice cream painting over them.

"You missed a spot," she said in a low voice and Eli looked up, a smirk forming. He slowly brought his lips to hers, kissing her tenderly and letting his tongue swipe, catching every last bit of the ice cream. He was happy, happier than he had been in the longest time.

"Um… hi," a small voice came from in front of their table. The two broke apart immediately, a blush flowering over Holly J's cheeks when she registered who it was. Eli's eyes went cold and his hand traveled down to Holly J's, tightly lacing his fingers with hers under the table, "Cece said that I could find you here. Hi, Holly J," Clare waved sheepishly. Holly J gave a weak smile but nodded in return.

"What are you doing here?" Eli asked, his voice quiet but stern. All of his pervious happiness had drained from his body. Clare was the last person he wanted to see today. Today was supposed to be a day of relaxation and celebration with his girlfriend over taking the next step in their relationship, not one of second guessing and leaving things unsaid.

"I came to return these," and Clare held out Eli's headphones to him, which he didn't take, "and I had hoped that maybe we could talk…"

"Now's not a good time…" Eli started.

"No, it is. I have to go to work anyway so you two sit. Talk," Holly J said lightly as she stood from her seat. Eli looked up at her like she was completely abandoning him, leaving him alone to get ripped apart by Clare's presence, but she looked down at him, silently letting him know that he needed to do this. He needed to finally face the girl that he once loved.

"I'll call you later," he said and her tugged on her hand slightly, bringing her down for a good-bye kiss, one that was more passionate than Holly J was expecting, Eli obviously not caring about present company. Clare modestly looked away, taking in the menu board that she had memorized already. Holly J made her way out of the café and Eli gestured for Clare to sit down in the chair that was across the table. He pushed the ice cream to one side.

"So, how have you been?" Clare asked kindly, smiling a little. This wasn't supposed to be horribly awkward. Eli looked back at her, clearly not amused. He had no idea what she wanted and why she had to just show up, interrupting the obvious good time he and Holly J were sharing. This whole conversation could wait, he was sure of it.

"I've been… okay. Good, actually," he answered, hesitant about giving anything more. Her smiled faltered slightly but she nodded anyway.

"I'm glad. The summer's gone by so fast…" she said, still tip-toeing around her intention. Clare placed the headphones on the table and pushed them across, "My dad told me you returned the watch."

"When did you get back into town?" he asked, taking back his headphones, placing them around his neck and stuffing the cord in his jean pocket. He didn't have his iPod to plug them into, but it didn't matter, they still looked best around his neck.

"Last night, just before dinner. Today was the actually last day of camp but they let me out early since Darcy was home." Eli nodded silently, not really caring. Clare looked down at her hands and chewed a little on her bottom lip, unsure of how to approach what had been on her mind. Finally, she took a breath and forced herself to look him in the eye, "He was a mistake, Eli. I made a huge mistake. It was one kiss but I've spent all summer trying to figure out how to make it up to you. Every morning, during our prayers, I would beg forgiveness. I wasn't fair to you; I wasn't clear in my intentions and I'm so sorry. Maybe that was because I knew in my heart I didn't want to break up with you, but my head just kept saying this was what I needed to do. I couldn't decide and you got hurt. I'm sorry."

Eli just sat there, her words washing over him. Clare was sorry for what she did, even begging God's forgiveness for her actions. He had no idea how to react. He couldn't bring himself to be angry with her anymore, seeing her like this, but, to him, it was too little too late. The apology was a nice and appreciated gesture, but he couldn't help but feel like Clare wanted more.

"Thank you, but what do you expect to happen now?" he said slowly, spinning one of the rings on his fingers nervously.

"I had heard that you and Holly J had gotten together, but I thought that was just a rumor, people just assuming things. Seeing you with her before…" she said quietly, looking down to hide the truth in her eyes, how sad it made her to see him with another girl, "I had hoped that, maybe when school starts again and we have some time to sort through everything, that you and I could… try again." Eli raised his eyebrows, not completely surprised and shocked how easily she admitted to it.

"Try again. As in… a relationship? Get back together?," he asked in clarification. She nodded sadly and he shook his head, slightly annoyed, "Clare, I am with Holly J. Did you not just see that?"

"I know what I saw, Eli. But Holly J is going off to college soon, so what are you two going to do? Do you really think you can handle the long distance thing? I was only gone 11 weeks, what's going to happen when you're not with her for four, five months at a time? Get real, Eli. Your relationship with her has an expiration date on it and you're almost out of time. This was a summer fling. You had your fun and now it's time to face reality again."

All the sound had dropped out, the air around the table going cold, his blood turning to ice. He had to gaze down at his shaking hands; if he looked Clare in the face he would surely do something that he would regret. He wanted to break something. She didn't understand. No one understood. Holly J was his and he would never giver her up.

"Reality can go fuck itself," and he stood from the table, moving around it to leave. He needed to get out of there, to be some place where the walls weren't so close together and he wasn't so trapped. He needed to think. He needed Holly J.

"Do you love her?" Clare called out, turning to watch him leave, not caring that half of The Dot were now drawn to them. Eli stopped mid-stride, his heavy breath catching in his throat.

Four words never felt more like being hit by a bus.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: The beginning of the end...**


	23. Chapter 23

Disclaimer: Honestly, if I was going to claim that I owned something, I'm going to say that I own a car right now, and not Morty. It would be Principal Simpson's Mini Cooper, even with Chantay's Post-Its all over it.

* * *

><p>The suitcase was on the bed, opened but hardly anything in it, just some flip-flops and one of Eli's shirts. Her class schedule sat in the cradle of the printer on the desk, barely touched since finalizing it a month ago. The orientation guide was doing a great job collecting dust, a picture from Sav's party tucked inside for safe keeping. All the trophies and awards that littered the walls didn't seem to matter anymore since they had been packed away to be put in storage. How was she supposed to pack up her life in one suitcase?<p>

Eli hadn't called last night, and admittedly, Holly J was breathing a sigh of relief. She had spent the night really thinking about him, and them, and everything about this summer. She was leaving for school in 72 hours.

"Knock knock. You're mom let me in…" Eli said softly as he stood in the doorway. His eyes spilled over her room, how bare the walls and bookshelves looked, the big suitcase on her bed. The scene was more horrifying to him than any Wes Craven film. She was really leaving for school in 72 hours, the evidence right in front of him. It chilled him to the bone. "Are you ready to go? I thought that we could go to the statue…"

"Yeah, that sounds nice," Holly J softly replied, standing from the piles of clothes that surrounded her. They hadn't been to the statue in a long time and being surrounded by a private piece of beauty would help clear her head and calm her. Holly J had cried last night. Heather said that she was going to start crying a lot. Eli nodded and smiled a little, holding out his hand to her. She took it and held tight, afraid of what letting go would mean.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"I can't tell you how happy I am to be finished with cow print vests and whiney demands for more napkins," Holly J sighed as Eli led them down the familiar path in the woods. The trees opened up on the weatherworn marble, the rock seeming more aged than Holly J remembered. Her heart sank a little with the thought that the next time she would see this place it would be covered in snow. Four months felt like a lifetime away.

"Yeah, I'll be done with the radio station on Friday, then it's a week off, and then back to Degrassi one last time," he said, pulling her down to sit with him in the palm of the hand, "But you are definitely coming back for winter break?" Holly J swallowed a bit. She knew what he was really asking.

"I mean, I think so. I told Juan that I would let him know by mid-November so that I could be put on the schedule, but I'm not sure what my plans are. My mom has been throwing around the idea of going to stay with Heather for Christmas."

"Would you have to go?"

"Eli, I don't know…" she said softly but firmly. He was pushing for some sort of indication on their future. Blinking, Eli sat back against the marble. He didn't want to have the talk that had been hanging in the air between them all afternoon, but when she asked how things had gone with Clare the day before, he knew he couldn't avoid it.

"Not, uh… not well. She returned my headphones and, well, she thought that our relationship, between you and me, was just a rumor that Alli and the rest of them had spread, that people were just assuming things. She wasn't too happy to actually see us together," he explained slowly.

"That's ridiculous. Why would people make up something like that?"

"I know, and I told her that," he said, his voice more confident since Holly J also saw how odd the conversation was, "She apologized for cheating on me at camp though, but then she said that she had hoped once school started again, that she wanted to get back together," and he chuckled at the absurdity of the situation.

"Excuse me?" Holly J replied, chewing on the inside of her lip. It hurt her more than she had thought it would to hear Eli talk about being with another girl, which only served to make her second guess her decision.

"She wants us to get back together, in a full-blown relationship again. I told her that I'm with you and that I lo-"

"Maybe you should."

The silence pressed on their ears; Eli's chest feeling like it was caving in. This wasn't happening. It couldn't happen. Holly J wouldn't do this to him. He shook his head and let go of her hand, clenching his jaw.

"You don't mean that." It was soft but tense. When he said that he wasn't going to let her go, he meant it.

"Maybe you should get back with her when school starts," Holly J said a little louder but her voice still wavered. She was scared to look at him, to see his heart break in front of her. This wasn't what she wanted to do, but it had to be done. It wasn't fair to him to keep him.

"What are you talking about? I'm with _you_, Holly J. I want to be with _you_. Clare doesn't matter to me anymore," he said, trying to control his anger and steady his breathing. The air was escaping from his lungs at an alarming rate. He was dying from the inside out.

"It's not about what Clare means to you. Eli, I leave for university in a different country in less than three days. I can't even tell you if I'm going to be back in time for Christmas. I've done the long distance thing and I just can't do it again. That's makes me sound horrible but it's true. Distance ruins people, and I don't want to ruin you," she tried to explain, wiping the tear from her cheek. It was either break this to him now or break this to him over Skype in a few months. It just wasn't possible to stay with him.

"You won't ruin me!" he begged, "We can do this. I've never cheated and I completely trust you!"

"It's not just cheating. It's the being apart, the not being able to touch the other one, the sound of their voice being the only thing to get you through the day..."

"I'll come visit. I have money from this summer and days off from school. I'll come down and see you and when you come up, we'll spend every moment together."

"It's not enough, Eli! Please, I've already done this before, I can't do it again!" she cried.

"Not with me! You haven't done this with me! Don't I get a say in this?"

Their eyes met; Holly J's full of tears, Eli's full of hurt. This couldn't be happening. They were supposed to be together. After everything they had been through together… it was going to end at the same place it had started.

"We can make it work, Holly J," Eli said, his voice just barely above a whisper. It was one last plea, his heart making one final prayer.

"Eli, please believe me, it's better this way," Holly J responded in equally hushed tones. This was by far the hardest thing she had ever had to do. Eli had picked her up out of the darkness and misunderstandings of the beginning of the summer, had shown her that it does get better, that one can still have a life while remembering and respecting those who had passed. He made her let go of her fears, held her accountable for her actions, laughed, danced, talked, and kept silence when it was needed. With him, she knew she was wanted and that she wasn't just fulfilling a role. Eli had changed her and now she was repaying him by breaking him. If she honestly didn't think that this was the best thing for them, she wouldn't be able to live with herself.

"You're wrong," he said darkly, tearing his eyes away from hers. He needed her more than she even knew. She made an effort to understand him when others didn't, showed him beauty in the chaos, allowed him to open up at his own pace. Without her in his life, all that was going to be left of him would be an empty shell. He had given her everything he could, his mind, body, and soul, and she was going to take them with her to Yale. Holly J would always have him.

"So, this is it." Not a question. A statement that fell from Eli's lips.

Holly J nodded slowly, hugging her knees. She wanted so badly to reach out and comfort him, to have him hold her, but that couldn't happen. "I leave Thursday morning and… I would really like to see you before I go to the airport."

"I'll see what I can do," and he sniffed, looking away from the girl who was no longer his.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I had this scene in my head for the longest time, but I just couldn't bring myself to write it and you can guess why. Next week is the final chapter in Cannonball.**


	24. Chapter 24

Disclaimer: I'm giving away money, not making it.

* * *

><p>The taxi was idling in the parking lot; it's soft rumble being the only noise. Holly J's parents were discussing directions to the airport with the driver. Her eyes were focused on the entrance to the apartment complex, refusing to let them be torn away in case she missed it.<p>

They hadn't spoken in three days, since the break up, but Holly J believed that Eli would come and see her off. He said that he would see what he could do and she knew that he didn't have work. She chanced taking a second to check the time. 9:58 am. Her father was trying to squeeze the last suitcase in the trunk with little success. They were leaving as soon as he got that one in.

"Holly J, come grab your backpack. That can go inside the cab," he insisted, pulling it out and placing it next to the wheel. The girl didn't move. If she picked it up, they would leave, and she knew that as soon as they pulled out of the parking lot, Eli would pull in.

9:59 am. He was coming. He had to be coming. That's how it worked in these situations. The hero shows up at the last minute, and now was the last minute. Her mother was already seated in the back, buckled up and ready to go. Holly J's ears strained desperately to hear Morty's familiar growl, any indication that he was almost there. Eli wouldn't leave her like this. He was always there when she needed him.

"Come on, it's time to go," her mother gently chided as her father got in the front seat, the backpack between his legs. Holly J swallowed and shook her head, chancing another look at the time.

10:00 am

His eyes watched the time flick over on Morty's dashboard, being momentarily distracted from the familiar road. He had taken this route time and time again this summer, yet this morning it seemed never-ending. Holly J was leaving and he wouldn't be able to deal with it if he didn't get there. The businesses gave way to houses and more nature as Eli pulled up to where he wanted to be.

It was mid-morning but the path was dark to him. The branches that reached out scratched his skin, but he did nothing to avoid them. He could barely feel them anymore. The woods cleared around three statues, each cracked and worn with time. The world had not been kind to them and Eli felt a sadness grow as he studied the woman's face.

He could still remember everything about that first day; how hesitant and guarded Holly J was, how there was a small moment where Eli could tell she mirrored the statue's state. Holly J was broken when they first met, as much as she didn't want to admit it. She needed someone, and Eli was lucky enough to be the person who saw that in her.

He couldn't do it. He couldn't go to her apartment and watch her drive away and out of his life. She would probably never forgive him and he could deal with that, but to add the memory of her leaving him to all of the rest of her? Eli knew that image would haunt him if he allowed himself to see it. It was just better if he didn't go. She would get over it. Holly J was strong enough.

He tore his eyes away from the cold, stone eyes of the face and swallowed hard, trying to push those memories down. Taking a breath, he walked over to the hand and sat in the palm. This was her spot. This was their place. No one else would be privileged to sit here. He made the mistake of showing Clare the church he shared with Julia, he wasn't going to do that again. This was only for Holly J. No one else would understand.

Eli's phone buzzed in his pocket and he grunted slightly in anger. Now was not the time to talk about comics or other trivial shit with Adam. All Eli wanted was to be alone with his thoughts, to sort through and figure out what happens next. Shaking his head, he took the phone out of his pocket and read the text:

"We'll be sure to see each other when I'm home for break."

Eli stared at the words, each one cutting him to the bone, and his own slipped out before he knew what he was saying.

"That's a 'when', not an 'if', right?"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I want to thank every single person who read or reviewed this story along the way. I can't tell you guys how much it means to me that others are interested in my writing and it was because of your love for this story that I was able to bounce back and continue writing it after I got sick. Thank you so, so much.**

**I'm thinking that I'll start posting the sequel, _9 Crimes_, on November 18th and, again, update every Friday (or Saturday). Now, here is where you guys come in! If you follow me on Tumblr, you know that I promote the new chapters with a photoset that is headed by a banner, and if any of you lovely readers are artistically or photoshop inclined, I'm having a banner contest and the winner gets a $15 iTunes giftcard! Full details of that are on my profile page on here, so go over and check that out please! See you all in two weeks!**


End file.
